While playing mind games with your romantic interest (or anyone else for that matter) is middle school stuff, sometimes it’s necessary to use a bit of psychology to make guys recognize and correct their own behavior. When you start to feel neglected, used, or taken for granted, it’s natural to want to show him what he’s missing and make him afraid of losing you. Here’s how to bring about this realization and hopefully get the results you want.
- Always leave him wanting more. Even if you’re in an established relationship, you can and should do this. By leaving him wanting more, I mean that you should never be making him feel as if he’s the center of your universe (and he really shouldn’t be). When he texts, don’t message back within 30 seconds. When he wants to hang out, it’s cool to legitimately have other plans sometimes. Your relationship shouldn’t always be on his terms. If he wants you in his life, he needs to act accordingly. If he’s afraid of losing you, he’ll get it together quickly.
- Keep your options open. Again, if you’re dating exclusively, you shouldn’t be on dating apps or flirting with other guys in front of his face. This is meant more figuratively than literally. Don’t lock yourself into thinking that this guy is the be-all, end-all and put all of your eggs in one basket with him. Realize that there are other great guys out there and if this one isn’t up to the task of being a good partner, one of them will.
- Set boundaries and stick to them. A great way to make him afraid of losing you (and just of having a solid relationship in general) is setting boundaries and sticking to them. If he knows that there are certain behaviors that you find unacceptable and won’t stand for, he’s either going to put up or shut up. If he really likes you—and why wouldn’t he? you’re amazing!—then he’ll have to respect those boundaries or risk losing you from his life.
- Don’t loosen your grip on your self-worth. When a guy is taking you for granted or upsetting you by making you feel like he doesn’t care about you or your relationship, it’s tempting to start believing that maybe you’re lacking in some way or doing something wrong. That’s not always the case. In fact, it rarely is. Don’t ever doubt your own worth. Having a high level of self-confidence in yourself and your ability to act in your own best interests will make him afraid of losing you because he’ll know you won’t stand for any less than the best.
- Don’t be afraid to walk away. At the end of the day, even if he doesn’t really want to lose you, that’s not always enough to inspire him to get his act together and be the partner you need and deserve. At the end of the day, you can’t be afraid to walk away. Don’t give him ultimatums or make threats about leaving him behind, just be prepared to do so and make sure he knows it. That alone could be enough to snap him back to reality and prompt him to make a chance. If not, goodbye!
