15 Signs You Shouldn’t Have Broken Up With Your Ex

Most breakups are completely warranted and even necessary. However, sometimes you end a relationship with someone even though the issues you were facing were fixable and you still love each other. Here are 15 signs you shouldn’t have broken up. Hopefully, you still have a chance to reconcile.

  1. Your friends were amazed at how well he treated you. Finding a guy who will treat you like a queen isn’t easy these days, especially with how bad the dating scene is. It’s even rarer to find a guy who gets your friends’ seal of approval. If you break up with him and your friends are asking what the hell is wrong with you, you might be on the wrong track.
  2. Your family really liked him. Assuming that you see your family as good judges of character, this is a key indicator that you probably screwed up. Spouse material is very rare, and having no in-law problems in the future is even rarer.
  3. Things feel really hollow. You wanted space, but now it just seems… empty. Empty isn’t necessarily good. This is one of the biggest signs you shouldn’t have broken up, without a doubt. You know now that he’s not in your life that he belongs there.
  4. Your life just got downgraded in every way possible. Assuming it’s not because of a divorce, seeing a major downgrade in all aspects of your life typically means that you’ve messed up. When you’re going to crappier places, living in a worse situation, and also dealing with more flak from everyone, it’s a bad sign. When you notice a string of losses, the universe is telling you that you’re doing something wrong.
  5. No, really, he did treat you well. Disregard this list if your ex was abusive. Seriously, if he abused you, it doesn’t matter what others think. You’re better off alone than with someone who goes out of their way to hurt you. If he took care of you, supported you, and loved you completely but you still walked away, that may have been the wrong decision.
  6. Suddenly, your cash flow seems to abruptly drop. I’ve noticed that when I hang out with the wrong crowd or when I’m dating the wrong person, my cash flow drops significantly. It becomes harder to keep a job and save money. This is the universe’s way of saying that your entourage is no bueno and that it will end up curbing your potential.
  7. You think he really was “The One,” but you also felt like you were in a rut. Truth is, relationship ruts happen to even the best of couples. Breaking up with someone you could have seen yourself happily married to for the sake of boredom or feeling a random need to be single is a major no-no. Everyone has those feelings when in a relationship, but the fact is that part of a relationship is dealing with them in a healthy way. Breaking up isn’t typically a healthy way.
  8. You never loved anyone more intensely than him, nor has sex ever been better than with him. That passion is rare, people. That’s a sign that you’re dealing with Mr. Right.
  9. To this day, no one has ever really even come close to him in terms of impressiveness. If you had the best but gave it away, it quickly becomes obvious. When everyone else is light years below him, you done screwed up.
  10. Your life hasn’t been better without himQuality of life is a big part in relationships. If he seriously improved the way you lived life and did everything possible to make you happy, you made a huge mistake.
  11. If you found out he was in the hospital, you’d rush over in a heartbeat. This is the ultimate litmus test. Do you still care about them so much that you’d still go out of your way to help him? Do you still love him that much? If so, you should never have broken up with him. You’re still in love.
  12. Every time you think about him, you smile, then feel a wave of serious sorrow. That’s your heart crying out, wishing that you’d go back to him. While it’s a natural part of the grieving process after a breakup, if it goes on and on, take it as one of the signs you shouldn’t have broken up.
  13. He had a serious impact on you. He taught you to stand up for yourself. He taught you about different kinds of food and some cool street smarts stuff. He taught you to love the real you. You get my drift, right?
  14. Neither of you has found a partner as good since. While this may not seem like one of the signs you shouldn’t have broken up, it can be. This may be an indicator that there’s still hope for you and that you were meant to be together. Of course, it could also simply mean that you’re hung up on each other and haven’t given yourselves a chance to truly move on. Only you know the truth.
  15. He never took you for granted. This is so, so, so rare these days. If you find a guy who really appreciates you in all your flaws, then keep him. They only come by once in a lifetime for most of us.

What to do when you notice the signs you shouldn’t have broken up

  1. Do some serious reflection. It’s one thing to regret your breakup because you’re feeling lonely and you miss your ex, but how do you really feel? Is all your moping about and hopeless obsession with him really something to be taken as a sign you shouldn’t have broken up or is it just a natural part of the grieving process that you need to go through to get to the other side? It’s important to figure out the motivation for your feelings before you act.
  2. Be honest about your prospects. Even if you do really miss him and want to try again, will things be any different next time around? Do you have differences that are a bit too tough to overcome because one or both of you is unwilling to compromise? Do you have a toxic dynamic that you just can’t seem to shift? You might wish you were still together, but if a reunion is just going to end with another breakup, there’s really no point.
  3. Reach out to him. If you’re sure your head and heart are in the right place and that you want to get back together for the right reasons, reach out to him and tell him how you feel. Express your regret at how things played out and your desire to try again. If he’s on the same page, you can begin a new journey together.
  4. Come to an agreement if you’re going to try again. If you both agree that you shouldn’t have broken up or your ex is begging for another chance, it’s still important to be on the lookout for warning signs that things are on the wrong track again. To avoid this happening, it’s best that you set boundaries and expectations so that you know what to expect and you’re equally committed to making things work. Agree to work on certain things that plagued you last time and also to communicate openly and work together to move past problems. That’s the only way you’ll stand a chance.
  5. If it won’t work, be willing to walk away. If there’s just no overcoming the differences between you or if he doesn’t hold up his end of the bargain when it comes to making necessary changes, there’s only one thing to do: move on. Processing your feelings and getting over them will be difficult and may take some time, but in this situation, it’s the only way to go.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.