It’s always confusing AF when you’re dating a guy and things seem to be going well but you just can’t seem to figure out what you are and where you’re headed. Maybe wants to ” go with the flow” or claims he’s wary about commitment because he’s been hurt before, but enough of this crap. If you know you want a real relationship with someone, don’t settle for less. If he’s not giving you the commitment you want, get out of his life ASAP and find someone who will.
His excuses won’t change.
There’s a sliver of a chance that the odd guy will change his mind about commitment later on, but it’s pretty rare. Most of the time, when a guy gives you a line about commitment-phobia or why he avoids labels, it’s because he’s not looking for it whatsoever and he wants a fallback excuse to hold over you when you bring the issue up again later. It definitely sucks more to invest a year of your time and be told, “I told you I wasn’t ready” than to just walk away from the situation when he tells you from the get-go. Save yourself the heartache and get out before you’re deeply invested.
You get what you accept.
If you accept casual and label-less relationships, that’s all you’ll ever get. If you’re looking for a real and serious commitment, it starts by not accepting anything less and not letting someone else’s issues get in the way of your own wants and needs.
It’s not your job to fix someone else.
You don’t need to stick around and prove to a guy how worth it you are just because someone in his past screwed him over or because his best friend went through a crappy divorce and now he’s jaded about commitment. Your only job is to date with the integrity and honesty that you keep putting forward and if someone isn’t on your level, you have the luxury of continuing your search without someone else’s baggage weighing you down.
Some people meet at the wrong time and that’s okay.
Timing can be pretty brutal and you can meet the seemingly right guy at the wrong time in their life. It’s completely normal, but don’t wait around for him to come to terms with himself. Meeting guys who aren’t right for you is just part of the process of finding the commitment and love you’re truly looking for.
There are guys out there who want real commitment.
Just because some guys are hesitant about commitment doesn’t mean it’s a blanket problem among all guys — there are good guys looking for love just the same way you are. You want the guy who doesn’t hesitate to call you his girlfriend, plan a future with you and be fully invested in what you two share together. Relationships aren’t rocket science — you either want to be together for real or you don’t. It really is that simple.
You’re worth more than blurred lines.
Staying with a guy who won’t define what you are together and hesitates the moment you talk about anything real is draining AF and you don’t need to participate in the madness. You shouldn’t be left hanging and wondering where things are headed when you’re sure of what you want and he’s not willing to get on the same page.
Take what he says at face value.
As brutal as it might be to hear it, don’t read between the lines or hold onto a false hope that he’ll come around eventually — he likely won’t. If a guy is into you and wants to be with you completely, nothing will stop him from it, not even a horrible experience before you.
You want the guy who’s looking for the same things that you are.
Would you rather continue to date someone who isn’t as invested into things as you are or try your luck and keep forging forward towards a guy who will actually give a genuine damn about you and make you his completely without hesitation? The answer should be pretty simple, so stop wasting your time with option A and move forward with plan B — finding a real man who wants what you want.
He’s not leading you on if you stay — you’re leading yourself on.
If you stay with a guy who isn’t giving you what you’re truly looking for, you’re only torturing yourself — it’s self-inflicted pain. Once he puts his cards on the table and says he isn’t ready or that he doesn’t want to tie himself down, you can’t blame him for leading you on if you keep trying your luck by sticking around. It’s like playing a broken slot machine that never pays out; you’re wasting your own time on a losing game.
You deserve to have what you’re looking for… with someone else.
You deserve to be with a guy who will give you the same 100% that you put out and who’s on the same page with you in what you’re looking for. If you’re looking for a real commitment and a real relationship, stop wasting your time with the guy who won’t give it to you. No matter what his excuses may be, you deserve better. Get out of his life ASAP.
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