If you’re looking for love and hoping to find your personal Prince Charming, you may be setting yourself up for disappointment if you end up falling for a guy who’s just not into romance. That doesn’t mean things won’t work, but it does mean you’ll have to put in a little extra work if want to be happy in the relationship.
Be honest about what you want.Your boyfriend isn’t a mind reader. He doesn’t know you want him to take you out for candlelit dinners or surprise you with flowers every once in a while. Tell him what you have in mind so he knows where your head’s at and he might become a little more thoughtful.
Don’t nag or guilt him into it.If he’s not romantic, he’s not romantic. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you or can’t grow into a guy who’s a little more open to it, but nagging him isn’t going to get you there. He’ll either tune you out or begin resenting you, and that won’t help anything.
Never compare him to your ex or any other, more romantic guy you know.While this is obvious, even the best of us fall on this trap. When you compare him to other guys, the message you’re sending him is that there’s someone out there doing a better job at relationships than he is. It’ll be a critical blow to his ego, not a way to open his heart up to romance.
Take the initiative in planning romantic surprises. Just because your partner doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body doesn’t mean you can’t be romantic yourself and show him how it’s done. Lead by example and he might just realize that romance is a beautiful thing.
Start looking for it where you least expect it. Whether it’s going for a hike, attending a concert, or eating out, finding an activity that you both love and spending time to do it together will help strengthen your relationship. It’ll also lead you to realize an important fact: romance can be found in unlikely places, as long as you do it together.
Be prepared to compromise.Does he have a sports event to attend and he wants you to go with him? Attend it even if you don’t understand a thing about it. Does he want you to spend the time with him while he plays video games? Cheer him on and prepare some snacks. He’ll surely appreciate you making an effort for him. This way, when it’s your turn to ask for a romantic date, he won’t think twice about saying yes.
Appreciate even the smallest progress.It may take time for your boyfriend to process your romantic needs, so be patient with him in the meantime. Let him know how you appreciate all his efforts, big or small, and he’ll know he’s on the right track.
Continue to let him know how much you love him.Romantic or not, you’re with your boyfriend because you love him — so make sure he knows it’s unconditional. If he feels the same about you, he’ll be more than happy to try a bit more romance with the simple hope of seeing you smile.
Understand that he may never change. If the lack of romance is a dealbreaker for you, that’s something you need to think long and hard about, especially if he’s not really willing to budge. In the end, relationships are about more than flowers and candlelit dinners, but if you want that and it’s not on offer, you may need to look elsewhere.
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