23 Signs You’re Being Taken For Granted — How to Get His Interest Back

When a guy’s really into you, there’s little he won’t do to get you. He’ll text you all the time, tell you how beautiful you are, plan elaborate dates, stare at you like he can’t believe he’s with you, and just generally treat you like you’re the most precious thing in the world. Then he realizes he has you and things change. Here are some signs you’re being taken for granted.

  1. He can’t be bothered to shave. He used to make sure his face was smooth so that he didn’t scrape you with his stubble when you kissed. Now, he just expects you to put up with it because he’s your boyfriend and you should love him as-is. And you do! But you also don’t want to feel like you’re getting microdermabrasion every time you give him a peck.
  2. He skips showering here and there. You’re not unreasonable when it comes to how he presents himself by any means, but you do expect him to put a little effort into his personal hygiene by brushing his teeth and hair and, you know, showering regularly. Oh, and don’t forget the deodorant.
  3. He starts wearing gym clothes around the clock. Would it kill him to put some jeans and a clean t-shirt on every once in a while? There’s nothing wrong with gym wear, but given that he left the gym six hours ago, an outfit change is in order.
  4. He Doesn’t even change the gym clothes he’s wearing. Worse still is when he’s living in gym clothes… that he hasn’t even washed! He has a washing machine right there and yet he puts the same dirty clothes on from the heap every day and doesn’t think it’s a problem. He’s obviously not worried about impressing you anymore.
  5. He Won’t come up with cool stuff for you to do together. This is one of the biggest signs you’re being taken for granted. While he doesn’t have to whisk you off your feet every night of the week, it would be nice if you felt like he was actually interested in planning a romantic date every now and then.
  6. He Mopes around the house. What does he have to be so upset about? He has a great girlfriend who cares about him and does a lot to make his life a better place. How can he just sit there moping as if he’s so hard done by?
  7. He Parks himself on the couch to watch football. Sure, watch the match, dude, but him parking himself on the couch several nights a week and totally blanking you because “the game is on, babe” like turning his eyes away from the screen for a split second would be the end of the world is not cool.
  8. He Goes out with the dudes to watch more football. Three nights of football at home isn’t enough. He still has to go out with his buddies a few more nights a week to check out some other games played by teams he doesn’t really care about while you sit at home on your own. Again. Read the signs — you’re being taken for granted.
  9. He Shows up drunk from too much beer. Everyone likes to have a drink, but getting sloppy drunk when you’re a grown man is not a good look. Neither is the fact that he expects you to put up with his drunk advances and his obnoxious snoring all night once he passes out from too much alcohol.
  10. He Doesn’t take you out on dates. He did when you first met, but now he just “likes staying in.” Of course, this is just an excuse to cover up the fact that he’s become complacent in the relationship and doesn’t feel like he should have to put in any more effort. Ugh.
  11. He Never brings you flowers. This is one of those major signs you’re being taken for granted. You can replace flowers with anything that’s simple but meaningful — your morning coffee, a burger when he stops by McDonald’s, whatever. It’s like you’re not even a consideration.
  12. He No longer texts you just because. He used to reach out when you weren’t together just to say hi and that he’s thinking about you. Not anymore! These days, you’re lucky if he can be bothered to even reply to a message you send him, even if you’re asking him something important.
  13. He forgets to respond when you text. He totally meant to message you, he was just busy and “forgot.” That might fly the first couple of times, but when that’s his go-to excuse for why you haven’t heard a word from him despite messaging him, maybe even multiple times, there’s an issue.
  14. He Isn’t that interested in what you have going on, or what you have to say. He claims that’s not the case, but whenever you talk, he gets this sort of glazed-over look in his eyes and you can tell his mind is somewhere else.
  15. He Doesn’t ask as many questions as he once did. The signs that you’re being taken for granted couldn’t be more clear. He used to show curiosity about you and your life, but not anymore. It’s like he thinks he knows all there is to know about you. He clearly doesn’t appreciate what a deep, complex person you are.
  16. He Won’t listen when you want to tell him something. If he’s tuning you out, that’s one of those obvious signs you’re being taken for granted. He should give you his full attention when you’re speaking to him, and if he can’t for some reason, he should tell you so and ask you to wait a few minutes until he can focus on only you because you’re important to him.
  17. He Stares at his phone way too much. When you’re spending time together, it’s more like he’s spending most of his time on his phone. He’s mindlessly scrolling through social media and playing silly games instead of giving you attention. We’re all guilty of being addicted to our phones, but if he’s not engaged with you in any way because he’s too caught up in his device, that’s a problem.
  18. He Finds the little behaviors he once thought were cute totally annoying. He used to love the way you sneeze or the way you pour your milk into your coffee but now he just finds those quirks obnoxious. What the hell?
  19. He Isn’t nearly as flirty. He was so flirty when you first started dating and it really increased the sexual tension between you. However, now that you’re actually in a relationship, it’s like he thinks there’s no need to flirt anymore. You’re together, so why should he bother?
  20. He’s impatient with you in ways he never was. He used to have the utmost patience for you even if he isn’t so laid-back in his general life. However, now he treats you like he hasn’t got the time of day for you and you have no idea what happened.
  21. He Doesn’t compliment you. Again, you’re his girlfriend now, so he doesn’t feel like there’s any need to turn on the charm to try to win you over because he already has. It’s like he doesn’t realize that women (and even men!) still like to feel special and like to have a bit of reassurance even when they’re in a committed relationship.
  22. He Still wants to have sex but with a lot less foreplay. If this isn’t one of the most upsetting signs you’re being taken for granted, I don’t know what is.
  23. He Cuddles with you for a minute, at best, before rolling over and snoring. Wow, thanks. What a great experience. NOT.

Why do women end up being taken for granted by men? 

Because they’re driven to hunt. When they’re chasing you, they can’t believe how hot you are; once the chase is over, they can hardly remember how hot they thought you were.

If a guy starts taking you for granted, that means he’s gotten too comfortable. To get his attention back, you have to make him uncomfortable by being out of reach. The best way to do that is not by bitching or nagging or asking him to change — that suggests you care too much — but by exhibiting indifference. Be cool and act like you’ve just lost interest.

What to do when you’re being taken for granted

  1. Don’t reach out to him. Seriously, just don’t. Leave him to fester in his own bad attitude and give him time to reflect on how he’s been treating you. Make him realize that you have other things going on in your life and better things to do than stay around with a guy who doesn’t appreciate you and all you do for him.
  2. Do your own thing with your girlfriends. You have some amazing friends who probably haven’t seen all that much of you since you got with this guy. Use this time to spend with them. Reconnect with them, strengthen your bonds, and show them how much you appreciate them. They’ll remind you of the badass woman you are and no doubt you’ll have an amazing time, to boot.
  3. Don’t sleep with him. Whatever you do, don’t have sex with him. He doesn’t deserve it. Guys care a lot about sex and not having it is one very clear way to send the message that things aren’t right. If nothing else, this action in particular should make him realize he needs to change or he risks losing you.
Halle Kaye is the author of the insightful, inspirational and hilarious dating guide for women, "Maybe He's Just an Asshole: Ditch Denial, Embrace Your Worth, and Find True Love!"