You want to be more than friends but this guy keeps treating you like his kid sister. Ugh. If you’re sure there’s actual chemistry there and he’s just in denial, here’s how to bolt out of the friend zone and make him interested in you romantically.
Stop being there.
You want to be around him more, sure, but you don’t want to be so available that whenever he calls you’re eager to throw everything else aside and be there for him. If you do that, it’ll be easy for him to start seeing you as someone who’s just there instead of someone in whom he feels he has to invest attention. He should earn your time!
Don’t treat him like a buddy.
You can’t get him to see you as more than just a friend if you’re always acting like his friend. Stop calling him your buddy, and stop talking about what a great friend he is. Okay?
Ask him for help once in a while.
You might think that helping him when he needs you is going to put you on his date list, but research has found that asking him to help you is more effective. It’s called the Ben Franklin effect and it boils down to how people are more likely to like you when they do favors for you instead of when you do favors for them.
Start flirting a bit.
You shouldn’t dive straight into flirting because that can seem weird, but you should start testing the waters with him. Make eye contact and bite your lip when you look at him (keep it subtle, please) or touch his arm during conversation. Keep it natural but see how he responds to your flirting.
Show him other sides of yourself.
You don’t have to dress in low-cut tops or anything, but it’s always a good thing to show him your sexy side. Go ahead and post a cute selfie on a day when you feel your best. It’ll probably grab his attention. You know how you might not consider a guy as someone you’d date, but then you catch a gym selfie of them and you’re like, “Whoa, wait a sec…” Yeah, it’s the same for guys.
Avoid being his number one confidante.
While you might think that being the shoulder he cries on is a good thing, it really just keeps you in the friend zone. He’s not going to see you in a romantic light after he’s vented to you about his problems, and especially not if he’s warbling on about other women. Hell no.
Change where you hang out.
You guys might hit the clubs or movies together, but that’s not exactly date-like locations. Try to invite him out alone instead of in a group, and go to a place that feels a bit more romantic. It could be a candlelit dinner in your home or a coffee in a cozy cafe, for example.
Make your interactions more meaningful.
Instead of just chatting about whatever when you see each other, try to make the conversations have more purpose. Ask him real questions and take an interest in his life. This will make your time with him stand out from all the other conversations he has.
Expand your social circle.
You want him to see you as someone who’s got a full, fabulous life instead of someone who’s waiting for him to fill a gap in your life. That’s one of the best ways to get on his romantic radar. So, get out there and have fun with your life, make new friends, and invite him to some of the highlights. This will show him that you want him, not need him.
Don’t be a yes girl.
You might think he wants to hear you agree with everything he says and thinks, but that’s not true. Be the woman who’s unafraid to tell him the truth, share your passions and real opinions, and show him that you’re not just going with the flow. He’ll respect you and see that you’re unafraid to challenge him. It’ll be intriguing to him.
Ask him out!
If you really can’t resist the temptation, go ahead and ask him out on a date. Keep it casual but make it personal. Hey, life’s too short to wait around, especially if you’re throwing the guy tons of hints and he’s just not getting it.
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