How To Give A Guy Space So That He Pursues You

It can be tough trying to get someone’s attention when they’re not giving it to you. But rather than incessantly blowing up their phone or asking them to hang out, sometimes the best thing you can do is give them space. Creating distance between you and your love interest is a good way to pique their attention. Once they feel you pulling back or if they think your attention is being vested elsewhere, they’ll be motivated to get you back. The following ways to give him space are sure-fire ways to get him to pursue you.

  1. Go On A Trip With Your Besties. Going out of town is the ultimate way to put distance between you and your love interest. He’ll be left in the dust knowing that you’re with your best friends having a blast. To be fair, going on a vacation isn’t always realistic, especially in the current climate. But there are always options to take a day trip, or at the very least, a staycation. Let your man know that you won’t be available for a day or two (or three if you want!) because you need some quality time with your friends.
  2. Don’t Be The First To Text Him. If you’re the one that always initiates the conversation, take a step back. It may take him a few days to realize that things aren’t the same between the two of you. But if he’s really interested, he’ll have no problem sending you a message or giving you a ring. You pulling back will signal to him that he needs to step things up if he wants to make sure he’s remaining on your radar.
  3. Tell Him You Have Other Plans. Create an air of mystery by telling him that you’re busy the next time he tries to plan something with you. Of course, don’t be rude about it. But simply tell him that you’ve got other plans already made. Resist giving him another date when you’re free. Instead, leave it up in the air by telling him you’ll figure something out later. You’ll remain in his mind as he wonders what it is you’re up to.
  4. Don’t Spend The Night. We’re not telling you not to hook up with him – you do you, girl. But resist spending the night every time you go over to his place. You don’t want to make yourself seem overly available or too attached. Tell him politely that you have other plans in the morning and want to be well-rested for the day ahead of you. Not only will you be creating space between the two of you, but you’ll be adding to his intrigue.
  5. Tell Him To Spend Time With Friends. If you don’t want to be the one to pull back, then encourage him to spend some time on his own. If you want to create space, suggest he spends some time with his friends. You can tell him you’ll be doing the same to make it clear that you’re not going to simply be waiting on the sidelines until he’s free again.
  6. Say You’re Busy With Work. An easy way to give your love interest some space is to make yourself busy – and work is the perfect excuse. Whether you’ve got a lot on your plate with school or work, let him know that you’re not available at his beck and call because you have other things that you need to prioritize. He’ll spend the time apart longing for the next time you’re free so he can hang out with you.
  7. Don’t Respond To Him Right Away. A simple way to give him space is to not reply to his texts immediately. We’re not suggesting you take days to reply, but to create a bit of mystery (and let him know you have other things going on), don’t reply right away. If he asks what took you so long, say you were busy with friends or family. He’ll be itching to hear from you.
  8. Take A Social Media Detox. Even if he’s not seeing you in person, it may not be enough. If you really want to give him his space, then consider taking a break from social media. This is especially effective if you’re an active user. If he’s used to seeing you in his feed, he’ll wonder where you’ve gone if you suddenly stop showing up. He’ll likely reach out to you to touch base.
  9. Do Your Own Thing But In The Same Room. Maybe you live with each other, so giving him space physically isn’t possible. But you can still remind him that you have other things on your agenda. Even if you’re in the same room, occupy your time with something else. If you’re not giving him your undivided attention, it will make him look forward to the moment you do get to spend doing something together.
  10. Remind Him You Have Options. Sometimes simply going out with friends or failing to reply to his texts may not seem like enough. In such a case, give him a reminder that you’ve got plenty of options. Post a photo with a male friend or talk about the flirty DMs you received on Instagram from a stranger. He may begin to feel like your attention is being pulled away, and in such instances, he’ll be more motivated than ever to get it back.
Alexandra is a freelance writer in Montreal, Quebec. She enjoys shopping as a sport, Buffy the Vampire Slayer re-runs, and being a plant mom.