We’ve all been there before: you meet a guy we like, throw all your eggs in one basket, and don’t realize until it’s too late that he’s a total waste of time. It sucks, but it’s completely avoidable. If you keep falling for the wrong guys and you want to stop for good, here are some things you need to do. After all, you’re an amazing woman with so much to offer, but only if it’s to someone who’s on your level.
- Raise your standards. If you’re always falling for the wrong guys, the most likely reason is that you don’t have high enough standards. While you shouldn’t can’t the men you date to be gods on earth who are totally flawless and submit to your every whim, you can expect them to treat you with respect, keep their word, and pull their weight in the relationship. That’s the bare minimum! Raise your standards and hold guys to them – that will weed out the bulk of the bad ones right away.
- Develop your self-worth. Perhaps one of the reasons you don’t have high standards is that you don’t have high enough self-esteem. You have to believe that you’re worthy of love, respect, and care in order to demand it from others. Otherwise, you’re always going to accept being treated poorly. Truly work on embracing and increasing your self-worth. You deserve it.
- Don’t ignore red flags. Part of the reason you’re always falling for the wrong guys is that you probably overlook glaring red flags in the early stages of the relationship, thinking that you’ll get over them or they’ll go away. Wrong! If you notice that something seems a little off with a guy, don’t just write it off as paranoia or overlook it for the sake of continuing with the relationship. Things won’t get any better the longer you’re with him. Cut the cord immediately.
- Make a list of what you want. It sounds silly to say that making a list of qualities you want in a guy can help you avoid ending up with the wrong ones but it really can. The clearer your head is about what you want from a partner will make it that much easier to shut things down when someone you’re dating doesn’t exhibit those traits or meet those expectations. I’m not saying you should be rigid in terms of your checklist – you do want to leave room for a genuinely great guy to surprise you – but you know the big stuff that’s important to you (or at least you should).
- Take your time instead of jumping in head-first. Yes, it’s exciting when you meet a guy you really like, but that doesn’t mean you should go all-in before you really know him. Instead of throwing caution to the wind, you can avoid falling for the wrong guys by taking your time and paying close attention to how the relationship is progressing. Only when you truly get to know him should you feel safe to give a bit more of yourself.
- Listen to your friends sometimes. While your friends’ thoughts and feelings shouldn’t dictate your life, in many situations, they can actually be extremely helpful. They want what’s best for you and because they’re not blinded by their feelings for the guy in question, they’re able to see more clearly when something’s not quite right. Listen to their opinions. You don’t always have to act on them, but recognize that they’re acting in your best interest and may actually be making some good points.
- Trust your gut. At the end of the day, you know deep down when something is wrong. Trust that instinct and act on it. That will protect you.