You meet a guy you really like and decide to exchange numbers. This is 2022, which means actually calling him up and chatting for hours on the phone is probably not a viable first move. You’ll have to resort to texting, which is more convenient and way less awkward anyway. If you play your cards right, you can convey your interest while still playing it cool. Here’s how to first with a guy over text when you’ve only just met.
- Put a little thought into it. Don’t just start firing off messages. Actually think about what you want to say before you send messages. Why do you like this guy? What is it that makes you want to talk to him? Is there something in particular you connected over during your initial meeting that you’d like to talk more about? Ensuring you’re thoughtful about the messages you’re about to send will make them more likely to succeed.
- Keep your messages short and sweet. Just because you’re trying to flirt with the guy over text doesn’t mean that you need to be sending him full-blown novels every time you message him. Keep it brief but friendly, saying what’s on your mind without yammering on and on. While it’s cool to ramble on a bit once you get to know him a bit more, in the early stages, it’s better to trim down on your loquaciousness.
- Be upbeat – if you’re having a bad day, don’t text. As tempting as it might be to unleash a long rant about your annoying colleague or the fact that your best friend borrowed your favorite dress and stained it, maybe put the phone down. You can’t flirt with a guy over text (or even in person) effectively if you’re in a bad mood. You should message him when you’re feeling happy and at your best. If not, save it for another day.
- Give him genuine compliments. One of the best flirting methods is using flattery. While you should never give a guy a compliment that you don’t mean, mentioning things you really do like about him — the fact that he started his own business, how funny he is, anything that feels real — can really boost his ego and flick on the lightbulb in his head that you actually like him. If he’s feeling it, you might even notice him offering up a few compliments of his own in return.
- Ask some fun questions to get to know him. It might not seem like quizzing him is a very romantic thing to do, but it doesn’t have to be that intense. Come up with some fun questions to ask him that could also be seen as flirty. Obviously, you shouldn’t ask anything that would require too long of an answer or anything that’s too serious/personal and would better be talked about in person.
- Know when to say goodbye. A little bit of mystery is always a good thing. While you don’t want to run off too quickly, it’s important to know when you’ve dropped enough romantic hints and have made your mark so that you can make a hasty exit. Next time around, maybe he’ll be the one to send you a message first.