How To Get Over Your First Love And Make Room For What’s Next

Figuring out how to get over your first love when the relationship is over can be tough. The bond you shared feels so indelible that walking away from it (and them) feels impossible. However, it’s possible to come through the other side of the breakup with your head and heart intact. Here’s how to move forward as painlessly as possible.

How to get over your first love

  1. Allow yourself to grieve. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or upset after a breakup. Allow yourself to experience these emotions and give yourself time to grieve. This is especially important when you lose your first love. It’s a monumental experience and your heart will take time to recover from it.
  2. Keep yourself busy. Find new hobbies or activities to keep your mind occupied. This will help you focus on something positive and can distract you from negative thoughts (at least that’s the idea). Obviously, you’re not trying to avoid your feelings. You have to process them in order to truly move on. However, you don’t want to get too caught up in wallowing.
  3. Lean on your support system. Talk to friends and family members about how you’re feeling. No, you’re not burdening them by opening up to them. They want to be there to help you. Even if all they can do is listen, they’ll do it. You’d be surprised how much easier it will make it to get over your first love.
  4. Avoid contact with your ex. It’s important to have space and distance from your ex to help you move on. Consider blocking them on social media or deleting their phone number to avoid the temptation of contacting them. Going no contact really is the best way to move forward.
  5. Practice self-care. This is good advice in life in general. However, it’s extra important after a breakup. Take care of yourself by eating healthy, exercising, getting enough sleep, and practicing self-care activities like taking a bath or reading a book. It’s hard to drag yourself out of bed some days, but you’ll be much better for it.
  6. Focus on the future. Think about your goals and aspirations and focus on working towards them. What are some things you’ve always dreamed of accomplishing? There’s no time like the present to get moving on making it happen.
  7. Consider going to therapy. If you’re struggling to cope with your emotions, consider talking to a therapist or counselor. They can help you work through your feelings and provide added support and coping tools that your friends and family members might not have.

How long does it take to get over your first love?

Sadly, there’s no set time frame for getting over your first love because everyone’s healing process is different. It can take weeks, months, or even years to fully move on. It all depends on a variety of factors including how long you were together, how intense the relationship was, and the circumstances of the breakup. Some people may find that they’re able to move on more quickly, while others may struggle for longer.

It’s important to remember that healing is a gradual process, and there will be ups and downs along the way. Give yourself time to grieve and process your emotions, and be patient with yourself as you work through your feelings. Over time, with self-care, support from loved ones, and a positive mindset, you’ll eventually be able to move forward and find happiness again.

Why is it so difficult to move on?

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  1. You formed a deep emotional attachment with them. When you fall in love for the first time, it’s often a powerful and intense experience that creates a deep emotional attachment. This attachment can make it difficult to let go and move on. That bond can’t just be switched off overnight.
  2. Nostalgia is one hell of a drug. Memories of your first love can be very powerful and evoke strong emotions. It’s easy to get caught up in the nostalgia of the relationship and remember only the good times. You might also feel nostalgic for the person you were when you were with them, especially if they brought out a new side of you that you really loved.
  3. You’re afraid of life after your first love. After a breakup, the future can seem uncertain and overwhelming. It’s natural to be afraid of what’s next and to cling to what’s familiar, even if it’s not healthy. How on earth will you ever love again, and how can you go on without them?
  4. You don’t know who you are without them. When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to lose yourself in the other person. After a breakup, it can be challenging to figure out who you are without them. If that’s the case, it’s no wonder it’s so hard to move on.
  5. It’s your first real heartbreak. Your first breakup can be a shock to your system, and it can be difficult to know how to handle the intense emotions that come with heartbreak. Getting over your first love is an overwhelming experience.

Do you ever truly get over your first love?

It’s not just possible to move on from your first love and find happiness again, it’s pretty much guaranteed to happen (even if it doesn’t feel like it right now). Of course, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll ever completely forget about them or that the memories will disappear entirely. Even when you’ve truly healed and get into a new relationship, there may still be moments when you remember your first love and feel a twinge of nostalgia or sadness. You’re human. It happens.

That being said, over time, the pain and intensity of those emotions will likely lessen. Not only that, but you’ll eventually be able to look back on the relationship with a greater sense of perspective and understanding. You’ll eventually be able to appreciate the good times and the lessons you learned. You’ll even be able to clearly recognize the reasons why the relationship didn’t work out.

In the end, the goal isn’t necessarily to completely forget about your first love. You simply need to accept what happened, learn from the experience, and move forward in a positive and healthy way.

How do you stop thinking about your first love?

  1. Don’t give yourself too much time to think. Stay occupied. Engage in activities that keep your mind occupied and distracted, such as exercising, reading, or pursuing a new hobby. Again, you don’t want to do this to an unhealthy degree because you do need to process your feelings. However, laying around on the couch for weeks or months on end doing nothing but wallowing in them will not help you get over your first love.
  2. Try to stay in the moment. Try to be mindful and stay present in the moment rather than dwelling on the past. Mindfulness techniques such as meditation or deep breathing exercises can help with this. They might not be effective at first, but with practice, they can make a big difference.
  3. Go no contact with your ex. Avoid contact with your ex, whether in person, on social media, or through other means. This can help you to create distance and break any unhealthy patterns of thinking.
  4. Surround yourself with positive people. Spend time with people who lift you up and make you feel good about yourself. Being around positive influences can help shift your focus away from negative thoughts. You are who you hang out with, after all.
  5. Spend time with your girls. Your friends are a total blast and they love hanging out with you. The more time you spend having a great time with your closest pals, the easier it will be to stop thinking of your first love. Who has time to get caught up in heartbreak when you’re living your best life?
Jennifer has been the managing editor of Bolde since its launch in 2014. Before that, she was the founding editor of HelloGiggles and also worked as an entertainment writer for Bustle and Digital Spy. Her work has been published in Bon Appetit, Decider, Vanity Fair, The New York TImes, and many more.