Are you tired of being in the friendzone? While the late-night text sessions are cute, you’re ready to take things to the next level and get some romance going. Of course, you don’t want to come off as desperate or too obvious, you just want him to see all the amazing things about you that make you who you are. Thankfully, that’s easier than you’d think. Here’s how to make him want you without all that much effort.

Live your life.

Once you like a guy, you can’t just drop everything to fight for his attention. It’s a slow-burn process, one that pays off if done right. Living your life tells him you aren’t needy. You have your own friends and other commitments. He won’t think you’re too busy, but rather an individual. When you’re enjoying your life, it draws people in. They want to know more about what you do, what you like, how you are below the surface. If you really want to gauge his interest even more, invite him to experience one of your favorite hobbies.

Get flirty.

If you haven’t made it obvious you want more than friendship, this is how you do it. Flirting is fun and subtly drops hints that you want a relationship. Touch his arm, touch his leg, and get close (assuming he’s into it/not uncomfortable). Over text, send emojis like the kissy face, blushing smiley, or heart eyes. Of course, if you want to make it steamy, the peach and eggplant emojis will let him know where you want things to go. The key is to not be overbearing. Don’t scare him by being clingy.

Don’t play games.

A lot of advice out there says don’t text him back right away or flirt with someone else in front of him. What they don’t tell you is how that doesn’t build a steady foundation. If things heat up, you don’t want him thinking you might like someone else. That’ll push him away rather than draw him in. Be playful but don’t play games. Let him get to know the real you, not the fake one trying all these tactics that’ll have the opposite effect.

Get to know his interests.

Is he into superheroes? How about sports? You know he’s handsome, but it’s time to go further than that. To make him want you, learn how he is as a person, such as his beliefs, political views, opinions on specific topics you feel strongly about. When he expresses his thoughts, chime in. But don’t go against him if it’s something you don’t agree with. Try to understand his point of view instead. It’ll show him you’re open to hearing other opinions and can have civil conversations.

Embrace spontaneity.

Keep him on his toes by not making plans too obvious. Routines are boring and if he can use a break from work, be the one to give it to him. Ask him to meet you at a new restaurant. Or watch a movie you’ve both have never seen (bonus points if you make popcorn and provide candy!). Don’t think it has to be this way all the time. You don’t constantly have to pull out all the stops, just enough to stay on his mind.

Don’t put pressure on yourself.

You want his attention but there’s a right and wrong way to go about it. He’ll keep his distance if you act even a little desperate. Love is a minefield, especially in the beginning stages. There’s a lot to know and a lot to learn. You’ll make mistakes and, while it sucks, rejection is just a part of the experience. You can’t put pressure on yourself to make him want you. Things have to happen naturally. If you force it or try to be someone you’re not, you won’t get desired results.

Look your best.

You don’t have to change yourself in order for a guy to want you. There’s no need for hair dye or layers of Spanx here! Dress to impress, but don’t overdo it. Make sure your clothes are stain-free and crisp. For your hair, tame flyaways with a good leave-in conditioner. Show off your shape with form-fitting (read: not tight) tops and dresses. On days when you just don’t know what to wear, a simple t-shirt and jeans do the trick.

Prove he can trust you.

For a healthy relationship, trust has to be at the forefront. Both parties should feel they can be honest with the other. At the beginning of what could be a budding relationship, it might be hard to prove it. Show him you’re trustworthy by sharing some secrets of your own. When you’re willing to tell him things other people don’t know, he’ll feel comfortable doing the same. Of course, don’t tell him something for the sake of getting him to like you more. You need to feel able to trust him too.

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