How To Quit Being A Perfectionist And Start Embracing Your “Flaws”

How To Quit Being A Perfectionist And Start Embracing Your “Flaws”

1. Recognize all the things takes away from you.

provided by iStock

Realize the negative effects of perfectionism on your mental and emotional well-being (and on your life in general). Maybe you don’t take risks because you don’t want to take the chance of failing, or you never celebrate your accomplishments because they’re good but not good enough. Understanding the way perfectionism robs you of good things in life can motivate you to shift your focus towards healthier goals.

2. Set goals you can actually achieve.

provided by iStock

There’s nothing wrong with dreaming big and going for it, but it’s also important to choose realistic goals that match your skills and resources. Doing this helps reduce the pressure of achieving perfection while still allowing you to feel a sense of accomplishment. Plus, setting attainable goals encourages continuous progress and builds confidence, gradually shifting away from the unrealistic standards set by perfectionism.

3. See your mistakes as opportunities.

woman with nose ring

provided by iStock

Mistakes don’t have to lead to regret; they can be tools to help you evolve and move forward in life. This perspective diminishes the fear of failure and promotes a healthier attitude towards challenges. Embracing errors as part of the learning process encourages personal growth and innovation, making you more resilient and adaptable in whatever situation you find yourself in.

4. Practice being nice to yourself.

provided by iStock

Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially when things don’t go as planned. Self-compassion is a must when it comes to countering the harsh self-criticism that often accompanies perfectionism. Being gentle with yourself during difficult times fosters a supportive internal environment necessary for personal development and well-being.

5. Celebrate every win you have, no matter how small.

Young African man Walking in winter forest

provided by iStock

You don’t have to win Olympic gold or be crowned CEO of your company to celebrate your achievements. Celebrating small successes helps in breaking the cycle of perfectionism by validating your efforts. This helps to boost your self-esteem and reinforces the idea that progress, not perfection, is what truly matters in the pursuit of goals.

6. Question why you need to be perfect.

provided by iStock

Challenge the thoughts that drive your perfectionist tendencies. Thinking about why you’re so obsessed with achieving perfection can lead to a more balanced mindset. Asking yourself why you hold such high standards and what you hope to achieve can uncover underlying motivations and facilitate a shift towards healthier aspirations.

7. Prioritize your well-being over perfection.

provided by iStock

Focus on your mental and physical health instead of flawless results. Recognizing that your well-being is more important than achieving perfection helps in making self-care a priority. This shift encourages the adoption of healthier habits and attitudes, contributing to long-term happiness and fulfillment.

8. Surround yourself with support.

provided by iStock

Build a network of supportive friends, family, and mentors. Having people who offer encouragement and perspective can lessen the influence of perfectionism. This support system provides a safe space for sharing struggles and achievements, fostering a sense of belonging and acceptance that counters the isolation that often comes along with being a perfectionist.

9. Diversify your sense of self.

provided by iStock

Invest in different areas of your life to create a more multifaceted identity. Make sure your hobbies and interests are varied and focus on nurturing your relationships, which will take the emphasis off perfection in any single area of your life. This broader self-concept supports a more resilient and flexible approach to challenges, diminishing the impact of perfectionist pressures.

10. Stay present and mindful.

provided by iStock

Embrace mindfulness to focus on the current moment, which can help alleviate the stress that often comes with perfectionism. Being present allows you to appreciate your efforts and experiences as they are, without the added pressure of future expectations. This practice fosters acceptance and contentment, countering the relentless drive for perfection.

11. Break tasks into more manageable steps.

provided by iStock

Tackle large tasks by breaking them down into smaller, more manageable steps. This approach reduces overwhelm and makes it easier to start and maintain progress without the pressure of perfection. Each small step completed is a victory, reinforcing your ability to achieve goals through consistent, incremental effort.

12. Shift your focus to effort, not outcome.

Young hispanic girl looking at camera outdoor - Focus on face

provided by iStock

Concentrate on the effort you put into your work rather than the final outcome. Valuing hard work and dedication over flawless results fosters a growth mindset. This shift encourages persistence and resilience, qualities that are more conducive to long-term success and satisfaction than the fleeting approval gained from perfection.

13. Establish a “good enough” bookmark.

provided by iStock

Define what “good enough” means for different tasks and strive to meet this standard rather than perfection. This benchmark should reflect quality and effort without the unrealistic expectations of perfectionism. Learning to accept “good enough” helps in completing tasks more efficiently and with less stress.

14. Stop comparing yourself to everyone else.

provided by iStock

Avoid comparing your achievements and progress to other people’s — it’s a pointless metric. Everyone’s journey is unique, and comparisons can skew your perception of success. Focusing on your own path and improvements gives you a healthier self-view and diminishes the urge to meet or exceed everyone else’s standards of perfection.

15. Reflect on your progress regularly.

smiling man with striking eyes in park

provided by iStock

Take time to reflect on your achievements and how far you’ve come. Regular reflection helps you recognize and appreciate your growth, even if it’s not perfect. This practice provides perspective, highlighting the value of your journey and the lessons learned along the way, which are often more important than the destination.

Enjoy this piece? Give it a like and follow Bolde on MSN for more!

Gail is Bolde's social media and partnership manager, as well as an all-around behind-the-scenes renaissance woman. She worked for more than 25 years in her city's local government before making the switch to women's lifestyle and relationship sites, initially at HelloGiggles before making the switch to Bolde.