How To Spot A Fellow Introvert At A Party

Parties can be a social minefield for us introverts. But hey, there’s safety in numbers… or at least the shared awkwardness! Consider party survival a game of “spot the fellow introvert.” Here’s your field guide to identifying those kindred spirits amidst the social butterflies.

1. They’re hanging out near the snacks.

Let’s be real, the food table is a safe haven. It’s a socially acceptable reason to lurk on the edges of the party and grab some sustenance while you scope things out. Plus, who doesn’t love a good chip and dip situation? Bonus points if they’re strategically hovering near the less messy snacks to avoid awkward outfit mishaps.

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2. They’re subtly trying to make an escape.

See that person inching towards the door, giving lingering goodbyes? That’s a classic introvert move. They probably just need a quiet moment to recharge. Maybe they’re mentally replaying that one conversation they wish they hadn’t had, or simply need to pet their cat for a few minutes.

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3. They’re making friends with the pet.

friends at a massive dinner party

If there’s a dog or cat at the party, chances are the introvert has found their soulmate. Research has proven that introverts tend to be animal lovers, Psychology Today notes, and it’s easy to see why. Animals are great listeners, and they don’t expect small talk. Plus, if the party’s a dud, at least they can rave about those cute puppy eyes later.

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4. They’re engrossed in their phone.

guy on his phone at a party

Don’t mistake phone time for being rude — and they’re not necessarily addicted to their phone. They might be calming their nerves with a familiar game or texting a friend for backup. Maybe they’re strategically checking the time so they can devise an escape plan that involves a fake emergency call.

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5. They’re having a deep one-on-one conversation.

Introverts often shine in smaller, more intimate conversations. If you see someone engaged in a meaningful chat, they might just be a fellow introvert. They’re probably discussing deep questions about life, the universe, and whether leaving at a reasonable hour is socially acceptable.

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6. They’re observing the party from afar.

Outdoor shot of young couple with drinks talking on a rooftop party

Introverts are natural observers, Simple Psychology points out. They might be taking a mental break while taking in the scene from a less crowded vantage point. Or they could be mentally cataloging the party’s bizarre moments and saving them for later as hilarious anecdotes to text their friends.

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7. They’re the ones wearing comfy shoes.

Couples Dancing And Drinking At Evening Party

Let’s face it, stilettos are not an introvert’s friend. Anyone prioritizing comfort over fashion is likely focused on the inner world over the outer one. They might be thinking “It’s not a fashion show, and these comfy shoes let me escape if I need to.”

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8. They’re hanging around the bookshelves or artwork.

Books and art provide a perfect excuse to disengage slightly. Plus, they offer great conversation starters if you’re feeling bold. Introverts might be scoping out potential book recommendations or marveling at a strange piece of art in silent amusement.

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9. They’re taking a breather outside.

The fresh air and quiet of the outdoors can be a lifesaver for an overwhelmed introvert. Don’t be afraid to join them for a moment of zen. Maybe even strike up a conversation about the constellations…or simply enjoy the comfortable silence.

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10. They look vaguely uncomfortable.

If someone seems a bit out of place, they might just be an introvert adjusting to the party atmosphere. A friendly smile could go a long way. They’re probably battling an internal monologue about whether now’s the right time to sneak out unnoticed.

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11. They’re listening more than talking.

Introverts are often great listeners. You might find them paying close attention in group conversations, soaking it all in. They’re probably building a detailed mental map of everyone’s relationships and thinking up future escape routes if the conversation goes off the rails. Or maybe they genuinely enjoy hearing what others have to say!

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12. They’re avoiding eye contact.

Don’t take it personally! Eye contact can be intense, especially for introverts in overwhelming situations. They might be focusing on that interesting crack on the floor or trying to look nonchalantly busy for fear of being pulled into a conversation. Maybe they simply had a long day and their brain needs a moment to tune out.

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13. They’re happy to help out.

Need help refilling drinks or setting out snacks? Introverts often appreciate having a task to focus on. It gives them a purpose and lets them feel useful without requiring hours of socializing. Plus, if it means being stationed at the far end of the room, even better.

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14. They’re nodding and smiling, but not saying much.

Sometimes a simple smile and nod is the best an introvert can manage in a chaotic social setting. Don’t worry, they’re not being judgey—they’re probably just hoping the conversation will shift to a topic they’re comfortable with. Let’s be honest, they’re also silently wondering how long they can keep this up before they need a nap.

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15. They leave the party early.

Don’t be surprised if they’re the first to head out. Introverts value their recharge time, and there’s no shame in that! They probably have an elaborate bedtime routine waiting and a hot cup of tea with their name on it. After all, a good night’s sleep is necessary preparation for the next social event they might almost convince themselves to attend.

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Phoebe Mertens is a writer, speaker, and strategist who has helped dozens of female-founded and led companies reach success in areas such a finance, tech, science, and fashion. Her keen eye for detail and her innovative approach to modern womanhood makes her one of the most sought-out in her industry, and there's nothing she loves more than to see these companies shine.

With an MBA from NYU's Stern School of Business and features in Forbes and Fast Company she Phoebe has proven she knows her stuff. While she doesn't use social media, she does have a private Instagram just to look at pictures of cats.
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