How To Subtly Flirt With A Guy Without Being Too Obvious 

Flirting isn’t just licking your lips in a seductive way or asking him to dinner, it’s about making a connection before making a move. Not a lot of people feel comfortable asking someone out, especially if you don’t know their relationship status or if they’re even attracted to you. That’s where knowing how to subtly flirt with a guy comes in. Here are 11 ways to show you’re interested without coming on too strong.

  1. Let Him Know You’re Single. Before you even start flirting, you should let him know you’re single. If he knows, he’ll be more likely to actually interpret your subtle flirting as flirting. You could say something like, “I’m always bored on the weekends” or “I’m sick of hanging out with my married friends.” If you feel comfortable, you could straight up ask if he’s single and he’ll most likely ask you back.
  2. Smile. The key to flirting is letting your guard down and showing your emotions. Instead of standing like a statue whenever you’re together, laugh at his jokes and smile when he looks at you. You don’t have to hide your emotions to get the guy. Let your feelings be seen! If he wants someone he can’t read, he’s not the one for you.
  3. Ask thoughtful Questions to get to know him. If you get a chance to have a conversation with him, don’t waste it talking about yourself. We’re not saying you’re not interesting (because you are!). But if you want to impress him, spend time asking him questions. What’s his favorite food? What’s his dream job? Show him you’re curious about his life. He’ll like that!
  4. Don’t Be One Of The Guys. If you’re trying to subtly flirt with a guy, you don’t want to friendzone yourself. It’s not necessarily a good thing to be his buddy. We know that the best relationships start as friendships. The problem is, it’s not always easy to transition to something more. Don’t always go to the bar with him and his pals on Friday nights. That’s how you land up in the friend zone. Make sure he knows you’re girlfriend material, not BFF material.
  5. Compliment Him. Telling him he’s gorgeous might not seem subtle, but it is if you say it casually and then pretend like you didn’t. Confused? Here’s a scenario. When you see him, say something like, “You look great in that shirt,” and then change the subject to something completely irrelevant like the weather.
  6. Tease Him. This is the oldest trick in the book and also the most effective. Teasing a guy is a subtle way to let him know you’re interested. That said, it’s important to keep the jokes witty and playful. You don’t want to insult him (men are super-sensitive). Hit him with a little sarcasm and make sure he knows you’re kidding.
  7. Double-Tap His Photos. How flirty are you feeling? If you answered, “very,” go ahead and pull out your phone. Scroll through his Instagram feed and double-tap one of his oldest photos. When he sees that notification, he’ll think one of two things: “Wow, she really likes me” or “Wow, she just accidentally liked my photo while creeping on my feed.” Either way, he’ll know you’re interested.
  8. Make Eye Contact. Eye contact is crucial, but you don’t want to be too intense with it. Too much eye contact could freak him out. A good rule of thumb is to look at him for three seconds, before looking away. And make sure you’re staring into his eyes, not his mouth, his nose, or his eyebrows. You want to hold his gaze so he knows he has your attention.
  9. Touch Him. Before you touch his arm or knee, test the waters first. Stand a little too close and see how he reacts. If he takes a step back, that probably means he’s not ready to be touched. If he stays or moves closer, take it up a notch. Gently touch his hand or rub your shoulder against his. Don’t be afraid to invade his personal space (so long as you have permission — consent is important for men too).
  10. Remember The Little Things. Being interested in someone makes us pay close attention to what they say. Use that information when you’re flirting. Does he like Mexican food? What’s the name of his dog? Bring these details up in conversation to show him you’re actually paying attention and taking an interest in his life.
  11. Be Confident. Confidence is sexy. Fact. Initiate conversation, look good, smile, and have fun. Basically, be who you are. Contrary to popular belief, guys don’t want someone perfect. Perfection is creepy, and if you’re constantly in your head, wondering what to say or what to do, it’s going to come across rehearsed. Sometimes learning how to subtly flirt with a guy is all down to carrying yourself with confidence.
Jordan White is a writer based in Scottsdale, Arizona with more than 8 years of experience. She graduated from Northern Arizona University with a degree in Rhetoric and Creative Writing in 2015 and while there, she wrote for The Daily Wildcat. She has since written for sites including FanBread, and, of course, Bolde. You can find about more her on Facebook. She has a passion for giving her audience something to laugh about and despises the heat more than anything.