How To Survive Being Cheated On, From Someone Who’s Been Through It

Before I can tell you how to survive after being cheated on, it’s only fair to admit that I only know because I’ve actually been through it. When I was 17, I met a guy that instantly gave me butterflies. Turns out—he couldn’t commit, couldn’t stay faithful, and was therefore not “The One.” I’d like to say I immediately dumped his ass and moved on, but I didn’t — so I hope you can learn from my mistakes.

Allow yourself a mourning period. 

Being cheated on sucks, so take some time to indulge in the classics after a bad breakup: have some ice cream, stay in your pajamas, and watch all the bad rom-coms you can stomach. Watching Ryan Gosling in just about every movie can help restore your faith in men. Channing Tatum will also do the trick.

Don’t shut yourself down. 

Your family and friends are crucial to getting through this. Don’t allow yourself to play it off as is if it’s no big deal and you’re over it. It is definitely a big deal, and you’ll never be able to move on if you don’t first admit your feelings.

Try and stay positive. 

Don’t spend time thinking what you could have done wrong to lead him to cheat. You’ve done nothing wrong. In reality, it was entirely his decision to stray, regardless of how badly it would hurt you. You’re a wonderful, amazing woman with so much to offer the world — he just didn’t deserve it.

Embrace singledom. 

Being single is fun! Go out and enjoy yourself, and for heaven sake, don’t feel pressured to download Tinder immediately after the break-up. Give yourself some time, there’s no need to jump back into a relationship immediately.

Never go back, no matter how tempting it might seem. 

You broke up for a reason. There are very few cases when a cheater won’t be tempted to strike again. I made this mistake, and I’d like to save you the wasted time and heartache of dealing with this.

Remember: stalking is bad.

 It’s so easy today to keep tabs on anyone and everyone. Do yourself a favor and unfriend/block your ex, along with any friends that may keep you apprised of your ex’s life. Unnecessary social media stalking will only prolong your pain.

Keep your standards high.

Now that you’ve gone through a cheating experience, you’re much more likely to catch it early on the next time around. When you’re good and ready to get back out there, make sure to find someone that is worthy of you, and don’t put up with any BS.

Be realistic about what you’re looking for. 

I’m still guilty of this. Don’t keep your standards so high that no one can ever attain them. This is just a defense mechanism to protect yourself — eventually you’re going to have to let someone worthy in! Why not now?

Stay fabulous. 

You’re amazing, so don’t ever doubt yourself.

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