A new dad seemed completely clueless about why his wife, who’d only just given birth, was unhappy that he’d invited his family to come and stay with them for a week. The 27-year-old man took to Reddit’s AITA sub to ask why his “extra hormonal” wife couldn’t just be cool with his selfish plan and whether or not he was actually in the wrong. Needless to say, he didn’t get the validation he was seeking.
The man’s parents wanted to see them. As OP stated, he and his 23-year-old wife live in a different state than his parents and they always complained about not being able to spend holidays with them. “I said I was open for any suggestions they had and they suggested they come stay with us for a week once the baby is born,” he wrote. His wife was understandably not on board with this plan.
He didn’t think about how his wife might feel at all. Instead of consulting her and asking what she thought about the plan, OP went right and did what he wanted. “I thought why not, that seemed to be a pretty good suggestion since it’s been months since we’ve seen eacho ther, so I told them to go ahead and made the invitation official.”
OP didn’t even tell his wife right away. Instead, he claims he only “remembered the conversation with my parents” when his wife started talking about plans for once the baby was born. After he told her his idea about what would happen, his wife “looked shocked then freaked out at me saying I shouldn’t have invited him just like that without talking to her first.”
He still wasn’t getting it. In OP’s eyes, his wife likes his parents and enjoys their company, so she should be thrilled about their visit. However, his wife explained that his family “can be a lot of work” and “having them as guests while caretaking for a newborn is the last thing she wanted.” Instead of respecting his wife’s wishes, he continued to insist that it was “no big deal” and that “we could use help if she thought about it this way.”
OP’s wife wanted to spend time alone with her baby. She wasn’t budging on her feelings on the topic and told her husband as much. “She lashed out on me about how the first few days of the baby’s life is essential time for bonding and being intimate and I just took that away from her by inviting my parents and invading her space,” he wrote. Again, instead of trying to understand things from her perspective, he accused her of being the problem.
“I argued that she was being melodramatic right then.” Talk about being clueless! OP went on to mansplain to his wife that “my family are decent people and I’m pretty sure they’ll make this experience a lot more warmer, but she still disagreed and said if my family were decent then they wouldn’t have accepted my invitation.”
His wife told him to cancel the plans. Again, you would think OP would realize that he’s being selfish and entirely unreasonable, but he didn’t see it that way. Instead, he thought his wife’s demand to cancel the trip “was unacceptable since she gave not a good enough reason for me to do that” and because he clearly wanted his parents to “help” with the baby, AKA take care of it so that he didn’t have to.
OP didn’t know how to handle the situation. He still refused to tell his parents it wasn’t a good time to visit and believed his wife should be the one to give in, which she clearly wouldn’t. Thankfully, many people responded to let him know how very much “TA” he is.
People couldn’t believe how awful OP was being. One person wrote: “Until you push a human out of your body and suffer the physical consequences of it you absolutely don’t get to mansplain that it is no big deal and not good enough reason.” Another added simply: “My dude, you have messed up… BIG TIME!” A third explained it a little more bluntly, posting: “So instead of having the week after giving birth to begin healing, bonding, time with her little family of three you have made it so your wife has to host and put up with having guests? Do you have any idea how much pain she’s going to be in? Not to mention the two of you learning to be parents. Plus well done on showing your wife that at her most vulnerable you will not be putting her first.” What a jerk.