I Don’t Care If “Girlfriend” Is “Just A Label” — It Matters To Me

I love relationship labels because they make me feel that the relationship is more stable and official. Here are 11 reasons why if a guy won’t label the relationship, it’s a deal-breaker for me. No excuses.

  1. I need to know that he’s comfortable. I want him to be 100% comfortable with being with me. In the past, when guys have backed out of changing their relationship status on social media or calling me their girlfriend, it was usually because they just wanted to avoid anything exclusive and official.
  2. I don’t want to be the victim of stashing. Stashing is when a guy hides your relationship from his loved ones and it’s incredibly toxic. If he’s sharing his relationship news with the most important people in his life, that’s a really good sign that he wants to be with me.
  3. I need to know I’m his number one. I really don’t want to feel like I’m just one of the many women he’s dating casually. What crap. I want to be his main priority, the only one in his love life, and a relationship label will show me that I am.
  4. I need to know he’s not afraid of commitment. If he can call me his girlfriend, it’s a good sign that he’s not afraid to commit. Now, I know that some people will use relationship labels easily but betray their partners so it’s not always guaranteed. However, it’s a good start.
  5. I need to know he’s not messing around. Anyone can date, but not everyone can be serious about their relationship. I’m so done with man-children who move from one relationship to the next and never make things real. I want something committed and legit, and hopefully long-term. So, if you like it, put a label on it, for God’s sake.
  6. It’s really shady if he can’t say the word. If he’s introducing me to his friends but he does so by mentioning my name instead of calling me his girlfriend, that’s a huge red flag right there. I’m either not the person he’s serious seriously or I’m just one of many other women he’s always bringing around to meet his friends.
  7. I need to know where I stand. If the guy I’ve been seeing can’t call me his girlfriend or acts weird whenever I mention that he’s my boyfriend, not only is he going to piss me off but he’s going to make me feel really antsy about being in the relationship. I don’t ask for much, I just want to know where I stand.
  8. If he can’t call me his girlfriend, he can call himself a cab. Clearly, if he can’t even say that I’m his girlfriend, then his silence is really telling. He’s basically saying that we’re not going anywhere. He’s not going to make us exclusive or official. We’re just sort of hanging around because it’s convenient right now. I’m so done with that.
  9. We have to define the relationship. For me, labeling our relationship means we’re defining what we are. If we’ve been dating for two months and we still haven’t talked about labels, then something’s going wrong. We’re stalling instead of moving forward, and I don’t have time for that.
  10. I won’t date someone who wants to keep things as they are. Once I was dating a guy who said he didn’t want to put a label on things because he was happy with how things were. Gee, wonderful. What he was really saying was that he didn’t want to progress. He wanted to be in a casual setup where he didn’t have to meet my boyfriend requirements. That’s just sad and lazy.
  11. If he can’t say it, he can’t feel it. I have a theory. If a guy can’t say that he loves a woman, it’s a problem. Yeah, he might show that he cares, but if you can’t say the words then what hope is there that you’ll be able to feel and live them? If I love something, don’t I want to say that I love it? Why not? What’s holding me back from doing that? IMHO, how a person treats relationship labels is the same thing. If a guy can’t say that he’s in an exclusive relationship with me, then chances are he’s not.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.