I Turned My “Friend With Benefits” Into My Boyfriend

I Turned My “Friend With Benefits” Into My Boyfriend ©iStock/themacx

Women are warned against having a friend with benefits, because someone will always get hurt. Of course, that happens, but it isn’t always the case. My old FWB is now my serious boyfriend. I even have a few friends in the same situation. Like any other relationship, sometimes friends with benefits will work out and sometimes they won’t. This is why it actually ended up working out for me and my man:

  1. We’ve both done a lot of growing up. When I first met my man, neither one of us were ready for a serious relationship. If we would’ve tried to date early on, we never would have worked out. Timing is everything.
  2. We’ve learned how to forgive. The warnings are true. FWBs can be painful. Of course, so are relationships in general. Anyone who decides to date needs to learn how to forgive their partner when they make a mistake, which is what me and my man have done. We accept the past and look forward to our future.
  3. We know what to do in the bedroom. There was a time when our relationship revolved around sex. That means he knows how to touch my body and I know how to touch his. Our sex lives are off-the-charts orgasmic.
  4. We’ve already met each other’s parents. We weren’t hookup buddies. We were actually friends with benefits. That means I met his parents, and even his grandparents, before we made things official. That’s why it was easy to slip into a relationship. I didn’t have to worry about impressing his relatives, because they already liked me.
  5. We never wanted anyone else. Friends with benefits aren’t necessarily sleeping with multiple people at a time. My man and I only had eyes for each other, even when our relationship was casual. Knowing that he didn’t sleep with anyone else, even when he could’ve, makes it easier to trust him now that we’re monogamous.
  6. We were honest from the start. It’s hard to look someone in the eye and tell them how you really feel. Of course, my man is an expert at it. He was able to tell me that he only wanted sex in the beginning, and he was able to tell me that he wanted to end the FWB arrangement to date me toward the end. We aren’t afraid to have uncomfortable conversations.
  7. We appreciate the little things. When we were FWB, we wouldn’t hold hands in public or give each other kisses on the cheek. Now that we’re dating, those little gestures feel more meaningful, because there was a time when they were forbidden.
  8. We’re involved in each other’s lives. Even back when we were FWB, he invited me out with his friends, and I invited him out with mine. When we started dating, I already felt like a part of his friend group. It made the transition from casual sex to a monogamous relationship much easier.
  9. We know our relationship means something. Some men will date you, just so they can sleep with you. Of course, since I was already sleeping with my man, it made the fact that he wanted to date more meaningful. It proved that he really liked me for me, and not just my body.
  10. We’re best friends. Not many people can honestly say that their boyfriend is their best friend. That’s the best part of dating my old FWB. We genuinely enjoy each other’s company. He’s the best part of my day, everyday.
Holly is a science fiction and horror writer, who has recently been published by Flash Fiction Press, Infective Ink, and Popcorn Press. You can find more of her nonfiction articles on All Women Stalk, The Talko, and News Cult.