In my last relationship, I turned into a jealous monster who lost her damn mind over some pretty ridiculous things. It definitely destroyed the relationship and after it was over, I vowed to never let myself become so unrecognizable again. Here are 10 things that used to turn me into a jealous psycho (and how I learned to get a grip):
His female friends.
I know a lot of women are uncomfortable with their partner’s female friends, but I was a lunatic about them. I didn’t want him to have them, talk to them, spend time with them, let them spend time with us together… Basically, I was a nutcase. I’ve since learned that the issue here was that I didn’t trust him… and for good reason. #cheater
My jealousy with his female friends was bad enough, but then I had to add in the fact that he stayed friends with a lot of his exes. (I know, this should have been a red flag instead of a green-eye.) I wasn’t allowed to be friends with any of mine, which just made me more jealous that he was friends with his. My now-husband has since taught me that most exes are exes for a reason and if you respect your partner, they stay in your past.
My ex had a bizarre, almost child-like relationship with his mother that drove me nuts. She babied the hell out of him, which was a lot of the reason he was unable to be an adult in our relationship. But his obsession with her cooking, cleaning, etc. made me batty. Again, the issue here wasn’t with me, it was his inability to realize he wasn’t eight years old anymore.
Literally any comment he made about another woman.
I once had a meltdown because he said I’d look like Brooklyn Decker if I had bigger boobs. All I heard was that she’s hotter than me and my boobs aren’t big enough. I’ll take all of the blame for this one — I was just being crazy. In my defense, though, he was good at mentally abusing me and making me feel like I was worthless.
Our friends who were getting engaged/ married.
My ex was a commitment-phobe from the beginning (I know, yet another red flag) and wouldn’t even call me his girlfriend for a year. I know I was a moron for staying with a guy like that, but I couldn’t help but be crazy jealous of the other normal people who were doing adult things after being together for years, like getting engaged.
His male friends.
The amount of time he wanted to spend with the boys seemed to me like too much, so it made me crazy with jealousy. I always assumed they were meeting up with girls and doing things they shouldn’t have been doing. In hindsight, I have no idea if they were or weren’t, but this goes back to my trust issues. I know better now than to be with someone you don’t trust to be out of your sight.
His friendships with my friends.
My ex is a loser. When we broke up, we agreed to split our friends back up so that we didn’t have any ties to one another. Only, of course he couldn’t hold up his end of the deal. I knew he really liked my one friend, but I didn’t realize how much until several months after we broke up I saw a photo of them together at her birthday celebration — a celebration I wasn’t invited to. My jealousy of his affection for her obviously ended up being right!
His obsession with the gym.
That man would rather stare at his biceps in the mirror than have sex with me. I bet you didn’t know you could be jealous of gym equipment! Well, you can be when your boyfriend spends more time on the equipment than he spends on you. #tobethattreadmill
The way other women looked at him.
My ex was hot — like, Channing Tatum look-alike hot. All of his time in the gym paid off and he wore his clothes well. But, because I was insecure and didn’t trust him, it made me crazy when other women looked at him and, god forbid, hit on him. I definitely lost my mind on more than one chick while we were together.
Social media posts.
Of course, with the introduction of social media, the places I could find things to be jealous about were endless! Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, MySpace… basically anywhere. I became Snoopy McSnooperson private investigator. No social media account went un-snooped. As I’ve learned from my wonderful husband, when you trust someone, you don’t even think about going through their stuff.
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