When a guy says he likes you because “you’re not like other girls”, it may seem like a charming compliment given with good intentions. In reality, it’s a sneaky comment that should raise several red flags. It doesn’t matter if he seems like a great guy, you really like him, or you feel like you get what he’s trying to say — it would serve you well to dump him as swiftly as you can.
THERE’S A GOOD CHANCE HE’S A CLOSET SEXIST.
You might think it’s just a harmless comment that shouldn’t be taken too seriously or that it’s cute for him to say that because it seems true, but that’s just a cover for what he really thinks about women. It means he believes that the things that women do are foolish, a waste of time, and not worthy of admiration or respect and he’s relieved that you seem different. Sexism is still sexism no matter how it is framed or expressed, and you shouldn’t stand for it simply because it’s coming from a guy who likes you.
Ask him to clarify WHAT HE SAID AND WATCH HIM STRUGGLE TO COME UP WITH A SENSIBLE EXPLANATION.
The truth is that he’s trying to pass off a completely meaningless statement as a grand compliment. If you asked him to explain what he means, this will become more clear because he’ll be unable to come up with a reason that isn’t flavored with misogyny and ignorant stereotypes. A guy once said, “Oh, I just think you don’t have problems and you’re so chill and reasonable,” when I asked him to clarify. In other words, he thought women were generally naggy, crazy, and illogical. I dumped him immediately.
HE’S ALWAYS GOING TO JUDGE YOU BASED ON THAT.
This erroneous notion that he has of you will be how he defines the relationship and your behavior going forward. Whenever you do anything that doesn’t fit into what he likes about you, he’s likely going to blow up and blame you for changing or overreacting when you’re only just acting like a normal human being.
IT’S THE IDEA OF YOU HE LIKES, NOT THE REAL YOU.
It speaks volumes that of all the things that are great about you, he likes you because of how you differ from other women. This just goes to show that it’s not really you he likes but the idea of you. It’d be a mistake to continue building a relationship on such a faulty foundation.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN YOU START ACTING “LIKE OTHER GIRLS”?
It might not seem like an immediate problem, but think about the days in the future when you do the things that he considers to be what other girls would do, which is something he obviously dislikes. This is going to create huge issues because he’s holding you up to ridiculous expectations in his mind. When you don’t meet them, the relationship will go through perilous times.
IT’S SUCH A CLICHÉ LINE.
Comments like this have been made by millions of men for centuries; you’re likely not the first one he’s said it to and you won’t be the last. It’s not just about you but his deep-rooted perception that simply won’t disappear without a conscious effort to rectify it. It doesn’t mean he thinks you’re special, which is why you should leave instead of buying into it.
YOU DESERVE BETTER AND YOU SHOULDN’T SETLLE FOR SUCH OBVIOUS NONSENSE.
You deserve to be with someone who likes you for you and your many wonderful attributes, not a guy who likes you because you’re the opposite of some warped notion of women he has in his head.
HE’S DEGRADING OTHER WOMEN, EVENTUALLY, IT WILL BE YOUR TURN.
Face it, it’s a subtle jab at other women. It’s possible for a guy to compliment or like you for reasons that do not involve putting down other women. If he can’t do that, it’s because he just doesn’t rate women. Continuing the relationship only means that, one day, he’s going to start disrespecting you and making you the object of his misogynoir.
GOOD INTENTIONS are no defense.
You can try educating him about the error in making such comments if you think he’s a good person that’d take to corrections and reform his ways when called out. Otherwise, there’s no excuse to tolerate him bringing such nastiness around you.
BETTER NOW THAN YEARS DOWN THE LINE.
Shutting it down when it happens might hurt or cause a little disappointment in the moment, but it’ll be better for you in the long run. You don’t want to invest your time and affection for months or years until it becomes intolerable, and it dawns on you that the signs were there all along and you could have avoided the heartache.
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