If He’s Making You Miserable More Often Than He’s Making You Happy, Leave

Relationships take work, but how much work is too much? Of course, you have to make an effort in any relationship, but being with a man shouldn’t feel like a chore. If dating him is bringing you more stress than pleasure, then he’s not Mr. Right. Here’s why:

  1. You should actually want to spend time with him. It’s not rocket science that you should actually enjoy the company of the man you’re dating. You might have a busy life, but if you really like him, then you’ll find a way to make time for him. Hanging out with him shouldn’t be something you have to do, but something you actually want to do. That’s how good relationships work.
  2. You shouldn’t have to teach him how to be a good boyfriend. If he’s actually interested in you, he’ll already know how to treat you right. You shouldn’t have to ask him to give a crap or show him how to care. Trying to change a man is just a waste of time. If he likes you, then he’ll be good to you. It’s really that simple.
  3. Sex shouldn’t just be a routine. You should actually want him physically and emotionally. Sex isn’t just a given in a relationship — it should mean something, and with the right guy, it will. You shouldn’t feel like you’re just doing your girlfriendly duties. You should want to be with him instead of feeling like sex is just something you need to give to keep him happy.
  4. You shouldn’t feel like ignoring his texts. Being busy is one thing, but seeing a man’s message and ignoring it until you’re bored enough to answer just isn’t fair. If you really liked him, you’d actually want to talk to him. You shouldn’t feel like he’s nagging you or being needy. When he’s actually the right guy for you, you’ll be excited by his messages, not annoyed that he actually cares.
  5. Fighting shouldn’t be part of your everyday life. Every couple fights, but not every damn day. That just sounds exhausting. You’re going to have your arguments, but a relationship shouldn’t feel like a war with one battle after another. If you’re not working together, then you’re just working against each other. Mr. Right will be an ally, not an enemy.
  6. There should be more good times than bad. You should actually feel happy to be with him. Your relationship shouldn’t be in a constant state of disagreement and insecurity. Bad times should be few and far between. If he brings you more pain than joy, then it’s time to face the fact that he’s just not good for you.
  7. You should never feel like you’re settling. You deserve so much better than that. Love should be a magical whirlwind of happiness. You can’t settle for him just because he’s there. Don’t be with just anyone; be with “The One.” You deserve true love, so if being with him feels less like happily ever after and more like a ticket out of the single life, then there’s something seriously wrong.
  8. You shouldn’t have to constantly worry about what he’s doing. Or where he is, or who he’s with. If he can’t keep in touch or he keeps secrets, then he’s just not right for you. A man who actually gives a crap won’t leave you left to wonder. A relationship should have a sense of security, and if it doesn’t, then you’ll spend way more time worrying than you in love.
  9. You shouldn’t have to snoop. If you can’t trust him, then being with him is only ever going to be stressful. You’ll never be happy. Every time he walks out the door, you’ll want to rifle through his drawers, phone, computer, pockets, and any other potential hiding place. He’s not your boyfriend — he’s your suspect, and you’re just waiting to catch him. Living life on the edge of destruction will never bring you true happiness.
  10. You should never have to wonder how he feels. You should always be on the same page, and you should be able to discuss your relationship. If a man is constantly making you worry and wonder about if he’s interested or if he’s going to end the relationship, then he’s just not worth the stress. Mr. Right will always make you feel wanted.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.