Some people are really obvious when they’re judging you. But others? Not so much. That’s why you’ll need to inform yourself of the subtle behaviors people engage in that show they’re judging you. We’ve got you—read on to find out the 15 behaviors.
1. They stay silent.
Let’s say you tell a hilarious (if you do say so yourself) joke. When someone is judging you, they won’t laugh but they won’t even make a peep. Whether it’s because they genuinely don’t know how to respond or if they’re actively trying to make you uncomfortable with their silence, this is majorly awkward.
2. They give you the once-over.
This is one of those behaviors that never feels good. No matter how subtle it is, when someone looks at you up and down it makes you feel insecure. You instantly think things like, “Is my outfit ugly or something?” or “Do I have something on my face?” We will say that this behavior can be unintentional (some people just look like that), but most of the time it’s a good sign that someone’s judging you.
3. They say something passive-aggressive.
Passive-aggressive comments are one of the biggest signals that someone is judging you. Maybe you’re chatting to a coworker about something big you recently accomplished—if they respond with something like, “Wow, that’s great,” but it doesn’t sound so genuine, then they’re a judger for sure.
4. They look at other people while you’re talking.
Not only is this extremely rude, but when someone glances around at others while you’re in the middle of a conversation, it’s likely they’re judging you. Whether it’s a slight smirk or a quick eye roll, it’ll be fast and almost unnoticeable according to Talkspace. But when you do catch it? You know they’re not being so nice.
5. They give you short responses.
This one can be tricky because some people are just naturally less talkative than others. But if you notice someone who’s usually chatty giving you one-word answers, and they’re also displaying other behaviors on this list, then they may be judging you.
6. They change their body language.
According to Psychology Today, body language can tell you so much about what people are thinking. When someone’s judging you, this is a helpful thing to look out for. For example, behaviors like crossed arms or shifting position a lot when you’re talking are tell-tale signs of judgment.
7. They change their tone.
Like body language, changes in people’s tones can also tell you so much about what they’re thinking. This is definitely trickier to pick up than other behaviors. So if you notice someone shifts from being warm and friendly to cold and standoffish, there’s a good chance you’re being judged.
8. They don’t seem emotionally connected or engaged.
When someone is genuinely interested in what you’re saying, they’ll contribute to the conversation and ask questions out of true curiosity. When someone is judging you, they may be aloof or unattached, not ask any follow-up questions, and it’ll feel like they’re just observing.
9. They avoid eye contact.
Again, another rude behavior! When someone can’t even look you in the eye, it may signify that they’re uncomfortable, disagree, or are just a judgy person. Making eye contact is huge for connection, so if someone’s not doing that, take note.
10. They do other things while you’re speaking.
Texting, clicking around on their computer, picking imaginary dust off their sweater—however it physically manifests, doing other things while you’re talking is a sign of judgment.
11. They give you unsolicited advice.
You didn’t ask for advice, but somehow this conversation has turned into a condescending talking to. When someone is being judgmental, it’s common that they’ll project their opinions onto others. So, if they’re being overly critical, they’re probably judging.
12. They bring up other things.
When someone is being judgmental, they might say things (intentionally or unintentionally) to make you feel insecure. Like, say you’re talking about how you got a raise at work. A judgy coworker may say something like, “Oh weird, I could’ve sworn you were on a performance plan.” Ugh, major eye roll.
13. They focus on one thing about you.
Maybe they stare at your shoes for a little bit longer than you’re comfortable with. Maybe they’ll zero in on the soup stain on your shirt from lunch. Maybe they’ll survey the newly sprouted pimple that’s hanging out on your forehead. This could mean nothing of course, but if it’s this plus other behaviors from the list, you have a judger on your hands.
14. They’re expressionless.
This one is really awkward but if someone doesn’t crack a smile or even furrow a brow during your conversation, they might be a big-time judger. They’ll stay stone-faced so as to not let you know that you’re being judged, but just keep your eyes peeled for this behavior.
15. They ask a ton of questions.
This sounds counterintuitive because if someone is asking a bunch of questions, they’re engaged, right? Not always. When someone asks questions like it’s a police interrogation, they could be judging you. A good way to tell is if they’re asking you questions they already know the answer to. For example, they may ask you when you’re planning to have kids (rude) as a judgment that you’re married with no children.