10 Things Passive-Aggressive People Say To Kill Your Confidence

10 Things Passive-Aggressive People Say To Kill Your Confidence

Some comments, even seemingly innocent ones, can leave you feeling a bit off. That’s often the work of passive-aggressive behavior, a sneaky way people use to undermine your confidence without being openly confrontational. It’s important to recognize these comments for what they are: attempts to throw you off balance.

1. “You’re Going to Wear That?”

This question might seem like they’re concerned about your fashion choice, but it’s often a subtle dig at your appearance. It implies that what you’re wearing isn’t good enough or appropriate. This can make you second-guess your choices and feel self-conscious. Remember, your personal style is an expression of yourself, and what matters most is how you feel in it. Comments like these are more about their insecurities than yours. Trust your sense of style and wear what makes you feel good.

2. “I’m Surprised You Managed to Do That.”

On the surface, this sounds like a compliment, but it’s laced with disbelief in your abilities. It suggests that the person didn’t expect you to succeed or do well, which can be disheartening. This backhanded compliment is designed to make you feel like your achievements are unexpected or abnormal. Acknowledge your hard work and don’t let their surprise diminish your accomplishment. You know the effort you put in, and that’s what truly counts.

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4. “It Must Be Nice to Have So Much Free Time.”

This remark usually comes up when you’re talking about your hobbies or interests. It implies that you’re not busy or hardworking enough. It’s a way to make you feel guilty for having or managing your time to include leisure activities. Remember, balancing work and personal life is important for your well-being. Don’t let such comments make you feel guilty for taking care of yourself.

5. “I Wouldn’t Have Done It That Way, But I Guess It Works.”

This is a classic passive-aggressive tactic. It subtly undermines your method or decision. The implication is that your way is inferior, even if the outcome is fine. Trust your judgment and remember that there’s more than one way to achieve a goal. Just because someone would do it differently doesn’t mean your approach is wrong. Confidence in your decisions is key.

6. “You Always Have to Have the Last Word, Don’t You?”

This statement is often used in arguments or discussions. It’s a way to make you feel overly dominant or controlling in conversations. The truth is, asserting your point of view is not a bad thing. It’s important to express yourself and stand up for what you believe in. Don’t be discouraged from sharing your opinions; healthy communication involves a two-way dialogue.

7. “You’re Far Too Sensitive.”

This phrase is typically used to dismiss your feelings or reactions. It invalidates your emotions and can make you feel like you’re overreacting. Remember, your feelings are valid, and being sensitive is not a weakness. It’s a sign of empathy and understanding. Don’t let anyone belittle your emotions; they’re an important part of who you are.

8. “I’m Just Joking. Can’t You Take a Joke?”

This is often said after a hurtful or offensive comment. It’s a way to shift the blame onto you for being offended, rather than taking responsibility for what was said. Remember, it’s okay to be hurt by insensitive remarks, and it’s important to set boundaries around humor. You have the right to decide what’s funny and what’s not in your book.

9. “No Offense, But…”

This phrase is a red flag that something offensive is about to be said. It’s a way to soften a critical or rude comment. The speaker is trying to absolve themselves of responsibility for the impact of their words. Understand that “no offense” doesn’t excuse hurtful remarks. It’s okay to let them know that their comment is not appreciated.

10. “I Thought You Knew Better.”

This statement is a subtle way of expressing disappointment without direct confrontation. It can make you feel as though you’ve failed to meet expectations, even if those expectations were never clearly communicated. This can lead to self-doubt and a fear of making decisions. Remember, nobody is perfect, and learning from mistakes is a part of growth.

11. “I’m Not Mad.”

This phrase often follows an obvious display of anger or frustration. It’s a way of denying their own emotions while making you question your perception of the situation. This can create confusion and uncertainty about your own judgment. Trusting your own observations and feelings is crucial in such situations.

Gail is Bolde's social media and partnership manager, as well as an all-around behind-the-scenes renaissance woman. She worked for more than 25 years in her city's local government before making the switch to women's lifestyle and relationship sites, initially at HelloGiggles before making the switch to Bolde.
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