If Someone Uses These 11 Phrases, They’re Not Showing You Any Respect

R-E-S-P-E-C-T! It’s not that hard to respect others, and yet so many people make disparaging comments with ease or make you feel like you’re worthless with the snotty words they throw at you. It’s not cool. Some disrespectful phrases are clearly rude while others are a little sneakier, making them more difficult to pick up. When chatting to someone, whether an acquaintance, friend, or romantic partner, you can tell if they’re disrespecting you by checking for these 11 phrases.

1. “Come On!”

Your date wants to order you a delicious meat dish and you say you’re a vegetarian. Your friend invites you to a party at the last minute and you say you’re not in the mood. The person replies with, “Come on!” This usually precedes something like, “Don’t be silly” or “Don’t be a baby.” Saying “Come on!” is a way for the person to cut any further explanation you were about to give. They just want to shout, shut you down, and behave as though you’re stupid.

2. “Shut Up!”

We sometimes use the term “shut up!” when we don’t actually mean it in a rude way, like when you tell your teasing mate to shut up. But if the person is actually telling you to shut up or you’re being dished “shut up” as a joke by someone you don’t like or someone you find arrogant, the person is disrespecting you and being cocky.

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4. “You’re Crazy.”

People calling you “crazy” can be triggering, like if you’ve been thrown the crazy label before and you’re so sick of how people resort to calling you crazy when they don’t get their way. Whatever the case, it’s never cool to be called crazy. You’re expressing your feelings and opinions, and you have the right to do that. Being called “crazy” for that is, well, crazy. It’s such a dismissive attitude – not here for that!

5. “Boring!”

You tell your friend you’re gonna head home because you need your beauty sleep. You tell the new person you’re dating that you don’t want to drink anymore. The reply: you’re boring. When someone says this, they’re really saying they don’t respect what you’re choosing for yourself or they’re trying to shame you into giving in to their demands. The best thing to do is shrug it off and smile. There are much worse things than being called boring.

6. “Who Cares?”

You explain to your new friend that your boss is stressing you out or that you’re not going to have time to attend the girls’ getaway, and they say, “Who cares?” Um, what? This was supposed to be a conversation but now you’re being shut down. It’s so childish. So much for sharing your feelings or trying to have a conversation. Ugh.

7. “Hello?”

Sometimes, during conversation, you need a bit of time to pause and reflect before you speak. But some people are impatient and will say, “Hello?” to make you answer faster. Damn, it’s irritating. They could also be hinting that you’re spacing out or not listening, which is offensive. Can they just give you a sec before being sarcastic?

8. “You Done?”

You confront the guy you’ve started dating about how he was rude when he met your friends. Ever the man-child, he responds with, “You done?” It’s funny that he’s being rude and sarcastic when he’s the bad guy here. Instead of talking about what happened, the person’s choosing to hit the eject button. SMH.

9. “So Sensitive.”

There’s nothing worse than expressing that you’re upset by someone’s comment and they turn the tables on you by saying you’re “so sensitive.” Really?! Throwing you shade and then pretending it was just a joke is rude, and calling you sensitive is a lame copout so they don’t have to take responsibility for what they’re saying.

10. “No?!”

Some people can’t handle it when you say “no” and set some boundaries for yourself. They’ll freak out when you say no by repeating the word and shrieking it in horror or surprise. They simply can’t deal that you’re saying “no” to something they think you should be accepting. But wait, who sets the rules for your life? You do. If they wanna throw a tantrum about not getting their way, that’s on them.

11. “Calm Down.”

You’re expressing how you feel when someone says, “Calm down.” Even if you’re in the middle of a drama princess tantrum, it doesn’t mean you need to hear these words. They won’t calm you down – they’ll actually make you feel angrier/more frustrated/sadder. Telling you to calm down can also be a way for someone to shut you down so they don’t have to deal with the drama. SMH.

12. “With All Due Respect…”

This is one of those seemingly polite phrases that actually aren’t nice at all! People will start a sentence with “With all due respect” and then go on to tell you something that’s quite hurtful/offensive/disrespectful. For example, “With all due respect, you’re wrong” or “With all due respect, shut up.” See how things can quickly go south? Enough with the rude statements! Why can’t people just say what they really feel in a kind, respectful way? Geez.

Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.
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