Letting myself be vulnerable enough to let someone in is scary as hell, but I know it’s necessary if I ever want to have a meaningful long-term relationship. That being said, if a guy takes advantage of my vulnerability and screws me over, I’m strong enough to move on for good, even if he comes crawling back. After all, if he screwed me over the first time, he doesn’t deserve a second chance. Here’s why:
- My time is precious. As I get older, I realize more and more that life is short and I shouldn’t waste my time on people who aren’t worthy of it. I won’t go out of your way for people who don’t respect, appreciate, or care about me. Instead, I choose to focus on those who are there for me and who make me a priority. They’re the ones worth my time.
- I’m trying to move forward, not backward. Maturity is all about learning from your experiences. I make mistakes, I learn from them, and I try not to make them again. If you screwed up the first time, there’s no way I’ll make the mistake of going back to you — been there, done that.
- History repeats itself. The past is already written, so if I go back to you when you treated me like crap last time, chances are the same thing will happen again. Unless you’ve become a completely different guy since we were last together (which is pretty unlikely), I’m not looking to go through all the BS again.
- I forgave, but I didn’t forget. I don’t hold grudges, but just because I forgave you doesn’t mean I don’t remember what happened between us. I may have moved past it, but that doesn’t mean I’m willing to go back to you either.
- The damage is done. Why would I want to go back to someone who’s hurt me? There’s no need to bring on more potential pain when I’ve already experienced it. Instead, I’m looking for a guy who doesn’t need to royally screw up before he realizes what he lost. You’re not that guy.
- I don’t trust you. Since there’s history between us, that means there’s always going to be a part of me that can’t completely trust you when it say, “It won’t happen again.” There is no clean slate when it comes to re-kindling a relationship from the past — and once trust is broken, it’s extremely hard to gain back.
- You already had your chance. Maybe you weren’t ready for me or maybe you were immature, but whatever the reason, you already screwed up the one chance you had to keep me around. Seriously, you blew it. No second chances here.
- If you didn’t appreciate me before, then you don’t deserve me now. I gave you my time, energy, and a lot of love and affection. If you didn’t appreciate it then, too bad — that’s all you’re going to get. There’s that saying that goes, “You don’t know what you got ’til it’s gone.” Well, I’m gone, so now you’re just going to have to deal with that.