If You Do These 10 Things, He’ll Eventually Leave You

Today, I’m going to play the role of the brutally honest friend. If you’ve noticed that your relationships are continually falling apart, then here are 10 things you might be doing to make him want to leave you.

  1. You nag. Everyone has habits and preferences, but one of the biggest killers of relationships is a consistent desire to change someone. Look, it’s hard dating or living with another person, but at some point, you need to learn that no one likes to be told that something about them is undesirable or annoying. The only thing nagging accomplishes is the tearing down of a person’s self-esteem or patience—usually both! So for all you naggers out there that think you can change a guy, please stop. He will leave you. 
  2. You’re selfish. Your selfish behavior is basically saying that you think you matter more than your partner, that your desires and wants are more important than his. That kind of inequality will never sustain a relationship. I’m a giver so I put up with a lot, but after a while, even I get tired of always being the one to give in. Relationships are about two people finding happiness. It’s highly unlikely that everything you like will make another person happy too, so do yourself a favor and learn to compromise. Otherwise, you’ll continue to have a lonely party of one.
  3. You whine a lot. Let’s say you finally compromise and decide to go along with what your boyfriend wants. Don’t whine and complain about it! There’s nothing like a woman acting like a bratty child, moaning and making snide comments. You’ll kill the mood—and pretty soon, his feelings will start to die too. No one finds a woman like that attractive. Why would a man choose to put up with a whiny woman when he can have a mature lady?
  4. You don’t play well with others. Relationships don’t exist in bubbles—they need to work in the real world where you run into friends, family, co-workers, and strangers. You have to learn to play well with all these groups. You don’t have to be fake, but you have to be cordial. No one wants to have to think twice about everywhere they go just because they know their partner will make a fuss or cause a scene when they run into a particular group of people. The people that matter to him should matter to you, even if you don’t really care for them.
  5. You hate trying new things. I’m a creature of habit, but even I know that I have to be open to new experiences. If you want a relationship to last, then you need to spend a good amount of quality time together. If your partner keeps asking to do something different, you’d better get on on the same page. My boyfriend likes watching rugby and I don’t, but guess who sits down and watches rugby matches at least once a month? Me, because I want our relationship to go the distance. You don’t have to change who you are, but you do have to find a way to make your lives blend well together if you want something long-term.
  6. You never do anything special for him. I hate it when I hear girls brag about how their guy does everything for them. Sure, he may be a successful guy who loves to shower you with gifts, but the moment he meets another woman that isn’t only grateful for what he does but reciprocates, he’s going to leave you. No one wants to feel like they’re being used. Give as much as you take and you’ll both be happier.
  7. You’re a pillow princess. No one wants to do all the work and sex is a very delicate matter. Your guy may be OK doing all the work and catering to you for a while, but you’re not the only woman he’s slept with and he has needs! Pretty soon he’s going to get dissatisfied and cheat or leave. You have to cater to his needs too. That starts by finding out what he likes—really likes, not the crap he spews about being OK with after you’ve lain there for the second hour in a row, doing nothing but getting exactly what you want.
  8. You’re too co-dependent. Don’t be that girl that has to spend every hour with her boyfriend. It’s not cute. Even if he’s okay with it, there’s a reason why psychologists say that co-dependent relationships aren’t healthy. Read up on it, then try to give him some space, yeah?
  9. You’re too independent. I’m a boss bitch and if you are too, I salute you for living out the lives that so many women before us died for us to have. Still, relationships are about two people finding happiness both with and independently of each other. Don’t get too stuck on the independent part. Men hate feeling like you don’t need them.
  10. You act like he’s lucky to be with you. I’ve seen women that do this—they treat their guys like doormats and boss them around. Listen, even the most chill guy has an ego. Keep stepping on it and you’ll only have yourself to blame when he leaves. Don’t poke the sleeping bear!
Hannah is a twenty-something-year-old freelance writer, obsessed with reality TV, and all things sweet.