A high-level narcissist, also known as a malignant narcissist, is someone who displays the most extreme traits of this personality type, and dealing with them is exhausting at best and downright dangerous at worst. Chances are, if this person’s in your life, you’re feeling drained on the regular, and maybe a little scared. Unsure if things are really as bad as you’re pretty sure they are? Here are 16 behaviors to confirm your suspicions.
1. They can’t deal with any little criticism.
A malignant narcissist is someone who can’t handle being criticized. They want to be loved and praised, so any little negative feedback will send them into an anger spiral and cause them to lash out at everyone around them. They truly believe they’re perfect and incapable of making mistakes, so any insinuation to the contrary won’t go over well.
2. They’re obsessed with their appearance.
Since they’re so self-obsessed, malignant narcissists tend to pay a lot of attention to the way they look. They have strong ideas of beauty and believe that they’re the most gorgeous person in the room. They might be obsessed with the gym or “clean eating,” or spend hours in front of the mirror preening before they leave the house (or all of the above).
3. They see things in extremes.
They tend to have black-or-white thinking, so someone is either their best friend or their biggest enemy. They either love or hate people and things. There’s no in-between, and they can be quite ruthless with their thoughts and opinions. Malignant narcissists lack an understanding of nuance, and that leads to extreme (and often incorrect) views.
4. They want to win at any cost.
A malignant narcissist won’t have any shame about throwing people under the bus to get what they want. They spread malicious gossip about other people to get ahead and they don’t feel any guilt about it. They never stop to think about who they hurt and the effects their actions have on those around them.
5. They find pleasure in other people’s pain.
It’s not just that they don’t feel guilt, but they don’t really care about anyone else’s feelings. They lack empathy, so they view people as objects and a means for them to succeed. They won’t try to see situations from other perspectives or consider other people’s opinions.
6. They don’t take an interest in anyone.
Although they want to focus on themselves and they love attention, malignant narcissists don’t pay attention to people on any real level. For instance, on dates, they won’t ask the other person questions to find out about their hobbies and passions. It’s all about them, and they make sure to steer conversations in that direction again if they ever veer off course.
7. They think highly of themselves.
Malignant narcissists care about themselves — a lot. They’re always building themselves up, such as when it comes to their achievements, as though they’re the most amazing person. They have an inflated sense of self. Sometimes this means they put others down to make sure they maintain their elevated status.
8. They love-bomb partners at the beginning of relationships.
When you start dating someone who’s got malignant narcissistic traits, they’ll try to rush you through dating milestones and love-bomb you. They’re heaping on the praise and compliments because they want to control you and use you at a later stage.
9. They use and throw out people.
Malignant narcissists are quite severe in how they can pretend to like people and then throw them out of their lives or ghost them when they no longer have a use for them. It’s all about what they can get from other people, and they’re quite ruthless. When you’re no longer providing them with whatever they want and need, you’re gone.
10. They take every little thing personally.
Although they’re harsh with other people’s feelings, malignant narcissists aren’t unfeeling. When it comes to what others do to them, they’re highly sensitive. They do this to the extreme by taking everything personally, even if it has nothing to do with them.
11. They have a grudge list.
Malignant narcissists don’t let go of previous hurts or forgive others easily. They hold onto grudges with their dear life and won’t forget people who’ve hurt them. They might even have a written record of what others have done. Yikes. This behavior stems from their fragile egos.
12. They never see anything as their fault.
When they do something wrong, malignant narcissists will always try to act like they’re innocent. They’ll find ways to blame someone else for everything, every time. They’ll also try to rationalize their behavior because they want to be flawless.
13. They hide their insecurities really well.
Although they’re insecure and dealing with ego issues, people who have malignant narcissistic tendencies will try to hide their insecurities from view. But, deep down, they’re desperate for other people’s attention and approval.
14. They feel entitled.
Malignant narcissists walk around the world feeling like they’re entitled. They’ll expect people to make them happy and give them what they want. This can also involve diva tendencies when they don’t get what they want.
15. They act superior.
People who are malignant narcissists think they’re superior, even though this is based in insecurity. They think they’re better than everyone else, as though they’re a king or queen sitting on a throne. They belittle people they think are unimportant, and might speak of trying to find people who are as “special” as they are.
16. They tend to be antisocial.
Interestingly, although malignant narcissists can be full of confidence and want others to serve their needs, they’re actually quite antisocial at times. They might withdraw from other people when they feel that others aren’t worth having in their lives. The second they need something, though, they’ll let people back in.
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