If you’re a pessimist, you struggle to stay positive and hopeful about situations. You’re riddled with negative self-talk and can’t help feeling like nothing’s going to work out, ever. Pessimism has a way of burrowing deeply into your mind so you don’t even realize how bad your negative thinking has become. Well, if any of these 15 things ring true for you, you’re incredibly pessimistic and need an attitude adjustment ASAP.
1. You Can’t Believe It When Things Work Out.
As a pessimist, you’re always expecting bad stuff to happen, like losing your job or getting dumped by the new person you’re dating. So, if things work out, like if you get promoted or your relationship hits a new dating milestone, you’ll be surprised. You might even be a bit suspicious of it. Uh-oh.
2. You Don’t Try Achieving Your Goals.
You might want to achieve something but you’re worried that you won’t succeed, so you don’t even try. Wow. You’re so afraid you’ll fail that you’re actually self-sabotaging – you’re missing out on potentially awesome opportunities. So what if things don’t work out? Trying means living. Make that your motto.
3. You Jump To Conclusions.
If something bad happens, you tend to jump to conclusions. For example, if you make a mistake at work, you’ll tell yourself you’re a failure and can’t do anything right. Woah, that escalated quickly. If your negative thoughts are making you catastrophize, you’re always jumping ahead and running away with your imagination. Stop spiraling by taking a deep breath and challenging those negative thoughts.
4. You Lead With Your Flaws.
Instead of focusing on your positive traits, you always feel saddled by your flaws and faults. You’re not realizing that what you consider to be your “bad traits” might actually be what make you different from everyone else. Instead of focusing on the things you think are holding you back, you’re missing out on how you can boost your confidence by embracing and overcoming them with a bit of optimism. (BTW, if you focus too much on flaws to the point that it’s destroying your love life, our sister site, Sweetn, can help with that. They have some great tips and tricks that will revolutionize the way you date. Check them out here.)
5. You Can’t Handle Cheerful People.
When the new person in your social circle is happy-go-lucky or your new co-worker is always positive, you can’t help but roll your eyes. Yikes! You feel it draining to be around people who love to laugh and see the bright side of life, as you find them highly annoying. But, look, there are things you can learn from them, such as how to turn negative situations around, so don’t become too judgy.
6. You Expect Dates To Go Bad.
When you go on dates, you decide before they’ve started that they’re going to be huge failures. Woah. If you lead with a negative mindset, you won’t notice any good things that happen – and people you go on dates with will be able to sense your negative vibes, which could put them off. If you can’t be positive when meeting new people, be neutral.
7. You Can’t Commit.
If you’re pessimistic, you might struggle to commit to anything, such as a side hustle or new relationship. This is because you’re expecting to be really disappointed by them. To protect yourself, you keep everything at arm’s length so it can’t hurt you. The sad thing about this is that you’re ending things before they even have a chance to begin, so you’re hurting yourself!
8. You Bring Others Down.
As a pessimist, you don’t just talk yourself into a negative spiral, but you also tend to bring others down with your negative attitude. Sorry, but it’s true. So, when your friend tells you that she’s quitting her job to travel, you might tell her it’s a bad idea. Or, if your sister tells you she’s getting married, you might tell her marriage isn’t worth it. Yikes! Talk about raining on everyone’s parade.
9. You Feel Down When Others Are Happy.
It’s hard for you to be around happy, euphoric people because you’re focused on your negative thoughts, which could also be making you feel depressed. So, you might be the type of friend who goes AWOL for a bit if your mate is going through a really exciting time in their life. But this sucks because your pessimism is preventing you from being a good friend.
10. You Don’t Negotiate For What You Want.
Since you don’t dream up positive outcomes for situations, you don’t think of how you can turn situations around for your benefit. So, you won’t negotiate with your boss for a higher salary or negotiate with a car salesman to get a better deal. You shut down your creativity and surrender to situations, making do with them instead of striving to be better or getting what you want.
11. You Remind People Of Their Faults.
The thing about being super pessimistic is that you might think your negative thinking is helping others. Hey, who else is going to point out to your friend that they’re being controlling during a vacation? Or, who’s going to remind your brother that he gives up too quickly? But here’s the thing: you’re not helping. You’re making people feel like you’re focusing on their negative traits. No one wants that.
12. You Pull Away When People Compliment You.
If you don’t believe that you’re worthy, you’re not going to believe others who try to remind you of your worth. So, if someone compliments you, you’ll roll your eyes or tell them it’s not true. This is sad because you’re not open to positive feedback that can help you realize what makes you great. Accept the compliment! Seriously.
13. You Think About The Past A Lot.
If you find yourself wishing you could go back in time and be a kid again or you miss how easy life was when you were younger, you might be caught up in nostalgia. This can happen with pessimistic thinking because you’re writing off the future as being negative, so the past is all you think you have. Woah. Meanwhile, the truth is that the best days of your life are waiting to be experienced.
14. You Always Win The “My Life Sucks More” Game.
When someone tells you about the bad day they had or how their vacation was a nightmare, you’re quick to one-up them by showing how much more disastrous your life can be. Playing the “My life sucks more than yours” game prevents you from being empathetic to others and causes you to get stuck in your negative mindset.
15. You Replace Reality With Worst-Case Scenarios.
As a pessimistic person, your mind always goes straight to the worst thing that can happen. So, when you go on a first date, you think the person’s going to hate you. At a job interview, you think you’re gonna make a fool of yourself. Wait, whatever happened to sussing things out and going in with a neutral mindset? That’s so much more empowering and leaves you open to being surprised. Take a chance and see what happens…
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