I’m No Longer Dating “Just For Fun” — Here’s Why

I’m No Longer Dating “Just For Fun” — Here’s Why ©iStock/franckreporter

As fun as dating can be, there comes a point where we ask ourselves, “What the hell am I doing this for?” — especially when the process becomes stressful and downright annoying. We go on date after date and realize that we’re going after guys that we already know there is no future with. Why? Just to pass the time? If you’re dating for fun, keep having fun — but that’s no longer enough for me.

  1. I know what I want. Once you know what you want, it’s kind of hard to convince yourself to be with someone who isn’t it. The dating pool gets a lot more shallow and your options significantly decrease. But there’s nothing wrong with being picky — it just means I won’t settle for less.
  2. I don’t want to waste my time. I shouldn’t be moving my schedule around or bending over backwards for someone who I’m just “casually dating.” If I do, then I’m wasting your time. I’m not going to put in the extra effort if he’s not worth it.
  3. I’m ready for a relationship. If you’re dating with an end goal in mind, then you’re not dating for fun. Dating for a purpose is completely different than just “going with the flow.” I’m ready for a relationship, so I need to be with a guy who’s on the same page.
  4. I’m in it for the long haul. Dating “for fun” always has an expiration date. If a guy ever tells me that “we’re just having fun,” then I take him at his word — he’s not speaking in secret code; he’s actually communicating that he doesn’t see this going anywhere. If that’s the case, I drop him and walk away.
  5. Dating “for fun” isn’t actually fun. There’s nothing really fun about hooking up or dating someone that I don’t care about. Sure, it’s a temporary fix, but if I catch feelings, then dating “for fun” stops being fun. At a certain point, I’ll eventually either walk away or put a label on it. Anything in between is just messy and complicated.
  6. I’m looking for the real deal. I’d much rather be in the company of someone who I care about and cares about me as well. I’m holding out for the real deal because it will feel 10 times better than any one-night stand or hook-up buddy.
  7. I’m not getting any younger. Unfortunately, in the back of most women’s minds is that ever-ticking internal clock that reminds us that we should probably stop messing around if we truly want to settle down. It’s not to say that there’s an age limit to being in a relationship, but eventually, I know I have to get serious if I want something serious (and I definitely do).
  8. I’d rather be alone than be with someone who doesn’t really care about me. At the end of the day, I want to know that the person I’m with has my back. Life isn’t always fun and games, and I’m not about to be with a guy who runs away every time stuff gets real.
  9. I’ve dated enough loser guys already. You can only date so many Mr. Wrongs until you realize that you’re ready for Mr. Right. I’m ready to meet a guy I can actually build something with, and if that means being on my own for a while until he comes along, so be it.
  10. I want to be in love. Ultimately, falling in love is what puts an end to the dating game. Falling in love with someone will cancel out every other person who didn’t matter in the past, and that’s something I really want.
Lindsey is a Digital Advertising Professional and Freelance Writer based in New York City. In her spare time, she enjoys running, traveling, and drinking ridiculous amounts of coffee. Follow her on Twitter @lindseyruns