If you’re single and looking for love (or at least some company for the night), joining at least one dating app is pretty much a foregone conclusion. It seems like anyone and everyone is swiping away, trying to find their perfect person. While most matches are total duds — you’ll need at least 300 matches to land a single date — there’s always the hope that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Sadly, that doesn’t seem to be the case. The number of people who find long-term relationships on dating apps is depressingly low: only about 12%, according to Pew Research Center. While the odds are clearly pretty slim, that doesn’t necessarily mean you should quit apps altogether.
Dating is, after all, a numbers game. The likelihood of finding your soulmate in the first person you ever go out with is… not great. Sure, some high school sweethearts end up married for life, but that’s not most people’s reality. For most singletons, it takes a lot of effort, heartache, and frustration to find meaningful relationships with people who are on the same page as us. That process and all it entails — ghosting, cheating, commitment issues, a lack of transparency… the list goes on and on — is enough to make you want to swear off dating for good. However, the more people you meet, the more chances you have to potentially find someone you actually gel with and who has long-term potential. That’s just the way it works.
It doesn’t matter how many people find relationships on dating apps — you’re not a statistic.
Look, I’m not telling you to delude yourself into thinking Prince Charming is hiding out on Hinge on a Saturday night or that you’ll meet, fall in love, and be engaged by Christmas. What I am telling you is that you can’t get caught up in statistics. While only 12% of adults report marrying or getting in a long-term relationship with someone they met on a dating app, there are a lot of variables there that are unaccounted for. Take, for instance, the fact that this percentage is based on self-reporting from a relatively small number of people. What about all those who weren’t polled?
Then, of course, there’s user intent. Maybe the other 88% of people who didn’t get into serious relationships with people they met on dating apps didn’t actually want to. They could have been casually dating, looking for a hookup, or just browsing. By some estimations, only 42% of dating app users are actually interested in anything serious, so the chances are already pretty reduced. Up against 42%, that 12% who are successful seems like far better odds.
It’s easy to get caught up in negativity. Believing that there’s little point in dating so you shouldn’t bother doing it could well become a self-fulfilling prophecy, however. Yes, it’s depressing to know how hard it is to be successful on apps. Sure, the chances of finding the love of your life aren’t great. That being said, it’s another great tool to have in your single girl arsenal that could eventually help you find the relationship you want.
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Dating apps are one way to find love, but they’re far from the only way.
The most important thing to remember here is that dating apps are useful but they’re not the be-all and end-all of finding a date. While I would say single women who are serious about dating should be on at least one, I would also say it’s important to look elsewhere when it comes to meeting potential partners.
Old Hollywood-style meet-cutes are a thing of the past, but there are still plenty of couples who meet IRL and really hit it off. Whether there’s one of your male friends you’ve always had flirty banter with or a guy who’s in that ceramics class you take on the weekend, opportunities for conversation and potential romance are all around us. It’s all about keeping your eyes and heart open and trusting the process while also ensuring you’re putting yourself out there and staying positive about love. After all, you’ll never find it if you don’t believe it exists.
