I’m In A Relationship, But I Still Hate Valentine’s Day

I used to be a Hallmark-card-carrying member of the “I love Valentine’s Day” brigade, but age and wisdom have slowly stripped away my enthusiasm for the holiday. Now I’m engaged to a guy who knocks the sentimental stuff out of the park, but I still can’t get in the spirit. Here’s why V-Day sucks.

1. It’s been unromanticized by our culture. Thanks to super-commercialization, Valentine’s Day has become less about celebrating love and more focused on shelling out cash to make your boo feel appreciated. If you turn on the TV in the weeks before February 14th, you’ll see countless ads telling men “what she really wants.” Sorry, but a stranger in a marketing department somewhere has no idea what I really want. Experiences, memories, and sentiment mean so much more than material objects.
2. The expectations are unfairly high. Valentine’s Day is surrounded by so much hype that it’s nearly impossible to meet the silly expectations that we unknowingly set for ourselves and our significant others. It’s a huge amount of pressure to put on a single day of the year, and disappointment is almost inevitable. Valentine’s Day basically sets us up for annual failure, and that blows.
3. It’s sucky to be single on Valentine’s Day. Even if you’re a super-independent single girl, Valentine’s Day can be kind of a bummer. Couples are flaunting their relationships all over social media. Even without any regrets about your lifestyle, the FOMO can start to creep in. Plus, let’s face it—flowers are pretty and chocolate is delicious.
4. If you’re in an almost-relationship, it’s the most awkward, anxiety-inducing day of the year. If you’re not sure where your relationship stands, welcome to the 24 hours of hell that is Valentine’s Day! Do you acknowledge it or maybe just make a joke about it? Are you supposed to get him something? Should you just avoid him altogether on February 14th? It’s a ton of pressure to put on a not-quite-relationship and it can make things feel super weird.
5. It’s freaking expensive. Christmas wasn’t even two months ago. Most of us are bouncing back from holiday spending, and traditional Valentine’s Day gifts are not cheap. Jewelry, dinner, flowers, chocolates—it adds up fast. Not to mention, prices are jacked up from the increased demand. Is it really worth the toll it takes on our wallets?
6. The wait times at dinner are nuts. If you’re not lucky enough to score a reservation, you might be SOL on that dinner date. Wait times can be an hour or more, and ain’t nobody got time for that. Even if you do call ahead, it’s one of the busiest nights of the year and you never know what could go wrong in a bustling restaurant. Besides, being surrounded by hundreds of people in a busy environment definitely strips away the intimacy of what’s supposed to be a romantic evening.
7. I’m a feminist and I’m frustrated that I still feel the pressure. Do I like Valentine’s Day? No. Do I still feel the pressure from society to go through the motions for the sake of sentiment and romance? You betcha. I love my guy and I’m totally secure in our relationship, but I don’t need romantic love in order to be whole. We’ve been inadvertently taught from a very young age that there are certain expectations set for this one day of the year, and that’s hard to get past.
8. Candy hearts are gross AF. They may look adorable, but these horrific little sugar bombs are what would happen if chalk and Splenda had a sassy, pastel-colored baby. So gross, and so horrible for your teeth. Just say no.
9. Planned romance isn’t really all that romantic. Real life is not a Viagra commercial. Spontaneity is a key part of those little love moments you’ll always remember. Scheduling a random day in February to be swept off your feet rarely works out that way. I’d rather save the romance for real moments, whether they’re small and intimate or a sentimental celebration like a wedding.
10. WTF is up with Valentine’s Day lingerie? Here’s the deal. If I want to dress up and get all sexified for my guy, I’m going to do it any day of the year. But I promise you this: it’s not going to involve anything that remotely looks like the overly-sexy Valentine’s Day lingerie you’d see in the window of Victoria’s Secret. Because honestly, my booty looks cutest in hipsters, and flimsy red lace is no match for my huge boobs.
11. It all just feels superficial. I don’t want my boyfriend to bring me flowers because he thinks he’s supposed to. If he brings me roses or takes me on a date, I want it to be because he genuinely felt inspired to do so. A night dedicated to the two of us is just as lovely no matter what day of the year it falls on.