If it feels like you’re playing a role in “Succession” because things have been so crazy with your family, you’re not alone. Families can be stressful, but if they’re turning against you rather than having your back, that’s even more upsetting. So, what are you supposed to do? You might be feeling angry, stressed, or anxious. Here are 11 important tips to help you deal with the issue and protect yourself.
1. Dig Into The Situation.
If your family’s turning against you, you might be confused. It’s good to focus on the situation and try to figure out what could be going on. Did you do something to upset them? Are they being unreasonable? Do they treat you like a scapegoat? Try to get to the bottom of it by analyzing your family members’ actions.
2. Try To Feel Out Their Perspective.
It might sound crazy that your siblings don’t want to talk to you because you exposed a dark family secret, but think about it from their angle. Maybe they’re feeling sad, but it’s coming across as anger and rage towards you. Or, maybe whatever they’re mad about is totally unreasonable, such as if they’re attacking you for your lifestyle choices. Try to see what they’re feeling, even if it doesn’t make sense to you.
3. See Them In Person.
Now that you’ve analyzed the situation a bit more and have taken some time to delve into what your family could be thinking or feeling, it’s good to talk to them about the situation. The best way to do this is IRL so you can see each other and speak properly. This also avoids text-related misunderstandings that can make things worse.
4. Give Them A Good Listen.
You might not want to listen to what they have to say, but that’s a relationship dead-end. Try to open your mind and really listen to what they have to say. Then, let them listen to you. It’s important that you both get the chance to express yourselves so you can work through the issues that come up.
5. Try Not To Lose It.
It’s not easy to communicate and resolve things if your emotions are boiling over because your family feels so unreasonable. But take a deep breath and try to maintain your composure. Speak calmly and directly, and don’t be afraid to take a break from the situation to pull yourself together. The second you lose your temper, you lose control and hand over your power.
6. Set Some Boundaries.
You don’t have to let your family members steamroll over you. Some boundaries are important so that you don’t get disrespected. They can take the form of not talking about certain topics if they’re upsetting or lead to conflict, or restricting the amount of time you spend in each other’s company. Boundaries are essential to protect yourself.
7. Get Some Support.
It can be really isolating to deal with family drama, especially if your loved ones are ganging up on you. Nope, you shouldn’t feel you have to go through this alone, so reach out to your friends that feel like your second family. It’s good to be able to vent to others and express yourself, as well as get support.
8. Think About Your Role.
It’s rare for one party in a relationship or family to be the bad guy and everyone else to be blameless. Things are complicated, and sometimes the best path to reaching a healthier relationship is to stop and take stock of what you’ve done. Think about what mistakes you’ve made so you gain a bit more perspective and can compromise with your family members to find a healthy way forward. A therapist could help with this.
9. Don’t Trash-Talk Them.
Although it’s tempting to speak negatively about your family if they’re really upsetting you, it’s never a good idea to trash-talk them to others, such as mutual friends, or to explode on social media about what they’re doing in the hope that they see it. Don’t do it! It just makes it seem like you’re the crazy one.
10. Don’t Try To Change Them.
If you want to have a relationship with your family, chatting to them and trying to move past the conflict is essential. But, avoid the temptation to try to change them. If they don’t want to meet you halfway or give you the love you want, you can’t make them. Understanding this is key to preventing yourself from feeling so much more pain and disappointment.
11. Figure Out Some Deal-Breakers.
If you’ve tried to make peace with your family but they just refuse to see your point of view or accept you, or you can’t accept who they are, you have to wonder if you need this negative energy in your life. Walking away from your family is difficult and sad, but it’s an option if their toxicity is affecting you and making you depressed. You’ve got to guard your heart!
