I’m Single And I Love It

I’ve spent a good chunk of my life on my own and judging by their questions and looks of concern, I know that people think being single long-term is sad and that I deserve their pity. Ugh. Why is it so hard for people to fathom that you can have an amazing, fulfilling life without a romantic relationship?

  1. I’ve got a ton of cool stuff going on. Just because I’m single doesn’t mean I’m sitting at home, twiddling my thumbs and crying into a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. I’m doing all the cool stuff that I don’t usually have time for when I’m in a relationship—the kind of stuff that only I’m interested in, like documentary festivals and pedicures. It’s the kinda stuff that I’d rather be doing on any given day and since I’m on my own, each day is an opportunity to do just that.
  2. I have real freedom. Couples might think that they have freedom but they really don’t. To have someone with you most of the time means that you can’t really do or be who you want without taking the other person into consideration. There are always compromises you have to make and the reason you make these compromises is that you just want to make each other happy. Make no mistake, though—just because you FEEL free when you’re together doesn’t mean that you are.
  3. I’m happy with my current situation and that’s all I need. Honestly, as long as I’m happy, I’m good. Some people NEED a relationship to feel satisfied—I don’t. I’ve learned to like who I am when I’m alone and am definitely not one to base my happiness on being with someone. That’ll only leave me depressed when they’re not there. So I avoid this altogether by embracing my single-dom. More people should try it.
  4. People tend to think that a woman being single is more pathetic than a man.  A big reason why people think my single life is sad is that women are expected to be in a relationship or at least desire one. When we’ve been single too long, it’s considered a failure. That’s total BS. I actually LIKE being on my own. I could have a boyfriend if I wanted one and guess what—I don’t right now.
  5. I get to do whatever I want whenever I want with whoever I want. Being single is like being a kid in a candy store. I feel like I can have anything I want! Everyone knows that the pursuit of a relationship is more exciting than actually being in one. That’s why the spark always ends up dying after a few months. If a guy shows interest in me, I’m free to pursue it and that’s so freaking exciting!
  6. I get to meet a lot of cool people. As a singleton, I run into a lot of other singles who are looking to meet new people. I find that when I’m in a couple, I kinda stick close to my boyfriend—even when we’re at a party we still mostly talk to each other. I’m finding that my circle of friends is expanding at a rapid rate since I’ve been single and it’s only making my life better.
  7. Casual sex can be really fun. Have you ever just hooked up with someone cause you thought they were hot? People like to scoff at casual sex but it’s honestly way more exciting than the long-term, committed kind. I mean, both have their perks, but casual sex energizes me in a way that committed sex just can’t.
  8. Single people being depressed is just a stereotype. Everyone assumes that single people are depressed because of how we’re portrayed on TV. When we’re single, all we’re thinking about is finding a relationship. It would be crazy to think that a woman could actually enjoy it. Those images of a lady drinking wine straight from the bottle while stalking her exes on Facebook is stupid and ridiculous.
  9. If anything, being in a relationship is the sad thing. Maybe it’s because I’m on the other side of the fence now, but when I see people in relationships, I don’t think, “Man, I wish that was me!” mainly because they seem annoyed at each other most of the time. Being in a couple is only really exciting in the beginning and then it always goes downhill (at least for me—I’m still waiting to be proved wrong with this). Sure, there’s the occasional relationship that you might consider #goals, but they’re few and far between. Just sayin’.
  10. I like having my own space. Even when I have a boyfriend, I still need to have my private time. I find that I need space to connect to myself and (sorry to get all dramatic) remember who I am. Being single for me is a dream because I get to have that time whenever I feel like it without making someone else feel rejected. It’s perfect, really.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.