“I’m So Lonely” — 9 Things To Do If This Is You

“I’m So Lonely” — 9 Things To Do If This Is You

Facing loneliness head-on? You’re not alone. It’s a common struggle, but that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. This isn’t about sugarcoating the situation or offering fluffy, feel-good advice. It’s about practical, actionable steps to tackle loneliness in your daily life.

1. Acknowledge your feelings of loneliness as valid.

Feeling lonely sucks, but pretending it doesn’t exist is worse. Loneliness is a real emotion, just like happiness or anger, and it’s important to acknowledge it. Ignoring it won’t make it go away. Instead, you have to accept that you’re going through a rough patch. This isn’t a sign of weakness. In fact, it takes strength to face your emotions head-on.

Once you accept that you’re lonely, you can start figuring out why and what to do about it. It’s about self-awareness, not self-pity. By understanding your loneliness, you’re setting the stage for positive change. Remember, acknowledging your feelings is the first step towards overcoming them. So, take a deep breath and admit it: you’re lonely. Now, what are you going to do about it?

2. Remember that it’s not just you.

Here’s something to remember: you’re not the only one feeling lonely. It’s a common misconception that loneliness is rare or unusual. In reality, it’s a widespread issue that affects many people. Knowing you’re not alone in this can be comforting. It’s not a personal flaw or a failure on your part; it’s a human experience. Many people, even those surrounded by others, feel lonely at times.

Your feelings are valid, but they also connect you to a larger human experience. Sharing your feelings with others can be a relief. You’d be surprised how many people feel the same way. This shared experience can be a starting point for building connections and understanding that loneliness is just a part of life, not the entirety of it.

3. Think of everything you have to be grateful for.

When loneliness hits, it’s easy to spiral into a vortex of negativity. But here’s a challenge: focus on gratitude. It might sound cliché, but counting your blessings can genuinely shift your mindset. Start small. Maybe you’re grateful for a warm bed, a good book, or a friend’s text message. Gratitude isn’t about ignoring your loneliness; it’s about balancing your perspective. It’s about recognizing the good alongside the bad.

This isn’t a magic cure for loneliness, but it can provide a much-needed lift. Write down three things you’re thankful for each day. Reflect on them. Notice how this small act can bring a positive change in your outlook. Gratitude can open doors to a more positive mindset, helping you to see beyond your current feelings of loneliness.

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5. Consider getting a pet.

Ever thought about getting a pet? Here’s why you should: animals offer companionship that’s hard to beat. They don’t care about your job, your looks, or your social status. They’re just happy to be with you. A pet can bring a sense of routine, responsibility, and joy to your life. Whether it’s walking a dog or feeding a cat, these small tasks can bring a sense of purpose.

Pets also encourage social interaction. Dog parks, pet stores, and online pet forums can be great places to meet people. But remember, pets are a long-term commitment. They require time, money, and care. So, make sure you’re ready for the responsibility. If you are, the companionship of a pet can be a great antidote to loneliness.

6. Volunteer your time.

Getting out and helping others can be a game-changer when you’re feeling lonely. Volunteering gets you out of your own head. It’s about being part of something bigger than yourself. You’re not just killing time; you’re making a difference. Find a cause you care about – animals, kids, the environment – and dive in.

The social aspect is a bonus. You’ll meet people with similar interests and values, which can be the foundation for meaningful connections. Plus, the sense of accomplishment and purpose you get from helping others? Priceless. It’s a win-win: you’re contributing to your community and combating your loneliness at the same time.

7. Join a club or take a class.

It’s time to get proactive about meeting people. Joining a club or taking a class is a great way to do this. Pick something you’re interested in or curious about. It could be anything – a book club, a cooking class, a local sports team, or an art workshop. The point is to put yourself in new situations where socializing is part of the experience.

Being around people with shared interests makes starting conversations easier. It’s not just about making friends; it’s about enriching your life with new experiences and hobbies. Remember, everyone’s there to learn and connect, just like you. Give it a go – you might surprise yourself.

8. Get out of the house.

Don’t underestimate the power of a change of scenery. Staying cooped up at home can amplify feelings of loneliness. So, get out. Take a walk, go to a café, visit a museum, or just sit in a park. The goal isn’t to run from your feelings, but to give yourself a different context. Being around others, even in silence, can have a positive effect on your mood.

You don’t have to interact if you don’t want to; just being out and about can make a difference. It’s about breaking the monotony and seeing the world beyond your four walls. Fresh air, new sights, and the hustle and bustle of life can be refreshing and invigorating.

9. Learn to enjoy your own company.

This might sound counterintuitive, but it’s important: learn to enjoy being alone. Loneliness and being alone aren’t the same thing. Finding joy in your own company is a skill, and like any skill, it takes practice. Start by doing things you love – reading, painting, cooking, or watching your favorite movies.

The key is to treat these moments as opportunities, not as a fallback because you have no one to hang out with. Embrace the freedom and peace that comes with solitude. This isn’t about isolating yourself, but about finding a balance. Once you’re comfortable with your own company, loneliness loses its edge. You’re in control of your happiness, not your social circumstances.

10. Call a friend/make plans to hang out.

Reach out. It’s simple but effective. Call a friend, text an old acquaintance, or make plans to meet up. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that everyone’s too busy for you, but more often than not, people are glad to reconnect. Don’t wait for someone else to make the first move. Be the one to initiate. It doesn’t have to be a big event – a coffee catch-up, a walk, or a movie night works.

The act of planning and anticipating social interaction can itself be uplifting. Remember, relationships are a two-way street; maintaining them requires effort from both sides. So go ahead, make that call. You might be surprised how many are just waiting to hear from you.

Originally from Australia, Emma Mills graduated from the University of Queensland with a dual degree in Philosophy and Applied Linguistics before moving to Los Angeles to become a professional matchmaker (a bit of a shift, obviously). Since 2015, she has helped more than 150 people find lasting love and remains passionate about bringing amazing singletons together.

Emma is also the author of the upcoming Hachette publication, "Off the Beaten Track: Finding Lasting Love in the Least Likely of Places," due out in January 2025.
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