I’m Strong Enough To Walk Away From A Guy Who Tries To Weaken Me

It doesn’t matter how gorgeous, how successful, how smart, how funny, or how charming a guy is. If he doesn’t respect me enough to value my strength, he doesn’t deserve me. Any guy who feels compelled to emotionally manipulate a woman into doubting her own instincts is a coward and snake. A man worth loving would never make you question your own worth. If a guy tries to pull this crap on me again, here’s what I’ll remind myself before I walk away:

  1. He’s incredibly insecure. Only a truly insecure person who inwardly hates themselves would try to chip away at another person’s strength. That’s not my problem. I love myself. That’s a choice I made and something I’ve worked hard for. If a guy can’t do that, that’s on him, not me.
  2. He’s a child, not an adult. Only when you truly reach adulthood do you have the capacity for selfless love, and some adults still have trouble with that. But emotionally, if a guy can’t get support a strong, independent woman then he’s still a child in many ways. Pass. I think I’ll hold out for someone with a bit more maturity.
  3. Time is too important to waste. Let’s say that in every other way, I’m in love with a guy like this. I want to see the best in people, generally, so maybe I give him a few extra chances to fix this toxic flaw. This is time that’s utterly wasted. The moment I noticed this behavioral issue, I should’ve been out the door. People don’t change very often, and if wasn’t willing the first time I stood up for myself, he won’t be after the tenth time either.
  4. I’m a Queen, duh. I could list the things I love about myself here, but that would take up a lot of space. But it’s important to note that it took me a long time to reach this place of abundant confidence. Now that I’m here, I will not let anyone keep me from embracing my goddess-level inner and outer beauty because everyone in my life is lucky to be there.
  5. He’s selfish AF. A man who tries to weaken me is doing so to minimize his own shortcomings. He hates himself. So when I radiate confidence in front of him, it makes him uncomfortable, because HOW DARE I accept who I am when he can’t do the same. No. I’m not here for selfish fools and their BS. Bye!
  6. I have too much love to give. When I love, I love hard. I have your back in all scenarios. I will hate people on your behalf. I will use my love as an emotional shield against all things dark and depressing. So if you try to weaken me with gaslighting or any other manipulative moves, you are not entitled to any of the above perks.
  7. I have goals, jerk. Yeah, I have a career, several hobbies, a dog who needs 90% of my attention at all times, rad friends, and dusty books on my bookshelf that I still haven’t read. You try to slow me down with your BS and I will disappear so fast it’ll make your small mind spin like a dime.
  8. This relationship is too toxic to succeed. If we’ve reached the point of you trying to weaken me to make yourself feel better, then is there really anything here worth saving? That’s some toxic crap, right there. Who does that?
  9. If there’s no future, why is there even a present? Breakups aren’t easy, but if I can’t see you standing next to me in the kitchen as we get our future kids ready for school, then why am I standing next to you right now? If this were just casual, that’d be one thing. But once we get emotionally invested and you treat me like dirt, it’s time for you to go.
  10. The dating world is mine to conquer. Once I cut your dead weight out of my life, I get to slay as a single queen out in the world. I will turn heads. I will flirt. It’ll probably be awkward AF at times, but it’ll also be lots of fun.
  11. Being single is just as much fun anyway. And if I end up hating the dating world – which is entirely possible – I know I’ll also be perfectly fine on my own. How do I know? Well… I have me.
is a freelance writer for Bustle and Petcha, and editor for Wise Bread. She suffers from separation anxiety, and can't bear to be away from her dog for more than 20 minutes. Her dog doesn't seem to care either way. Sweater season is her favorite season.