Is An Emotionally Unavailable Man Ever Worth Dating?

Things seem to be going well enough and you’re really into each other, but there’s clearly something holding him back from going all-in with you. It’s like he’s keeping his heart locked away and refusing to let you in. Is it worth sticking around and trying to make things happen with the emotionally unavailable man you’re dating? The short answer is no.

You’ll only be disappointed. You’re going to be waiting for him to step up and be the boyfriend you want and need, but he either can’t give you that or he just doesn’t want to. The result? You’re going to feel unsatisfied and disappointed over and over again. You’ll look back at all the time you wasted and wish you could get it back but it will be too late.

You’ll be a ball of nerves. You might tell yourself it’s no big deal to keep things casual, but after a while it’s going to start eating at you. You’ll be anxious whenever you start itching to take things to the next level or define the relationship and he’s going to be a brick wall in your way every time, saying no because he’s not ready.

You’ll feel like you’re waiting around. This is your life and you should be living it, not waiting for him to come around to the realization that he loves you and can’t live without you. If he was in that space, you’d know it and you guys would be together. It’s just not happening, so how can you be sure it’s going to happen? People don’t just wake up one morning and decide that, actually, the person who was in front of them for the last few months is who they adore.

You’ll go into DIY mode. You’ll get tired of waiting around for him to make a move, so you might toy with the idea of trying to change him. You should know by now that changing someone who’s hell-bent against it never works, so don’t waste your time and energy. Trying to change the guy will also result in him resenting you, so it’s not worth it.

 You’ll put your needs on ice. While you’re hoping for the guy to change his mind and step up, you’ll be neglecting your needs in the relationship and you’ll end up becoming a shell of your former vibrant self in the process. Why accommodate him? It’s so convenient that he’s getting what he wants and you’re having to cater to him.

You’ll feel like you’re wasting yourself. You’re wasting your time on this guy and you’re wasting all the great qualities you have to offer a boyfriend who values you and wants to be with you without first having to think about it.

You’ll miss out on opportunities. While you’re hanging around waiting for this guy to have a light-bulb moment that you’re “The One,” you’re going to miss out on guys who could actually be better for you. There’s a guy out there who will want to be with you right now instead of leading you on or playing games.

You’ll turn into a love detective. You might find yourself thinking about him and if he really likes you all the time. You’ll be analyzing everything he does for clues that he’s actually interested but he doesn’t want to admit it. Sorry, but no. If he wanted you, he’d be with you.

You’ll settle for less than you deserve. Based on the above point, you will end up settling for this guy and the breadcrumbs he’s always giving you. What’s the point? It’s like you’re denying yourself real, strong, healthy love and an amazing life, and no guy is worth that.

You’ll feel like the bad guy. You might find that sometimes it’s really tough to keep quiet about your needs or the fact that you and this guy are in dating limbo, but whenever you talk to him, he might make you feel guilty for having those feelings, especially if he’s told you that he doesn’t want anything serious.

You’ll be in a tug of war. Based on the previous point, you might find that you and this guy fight a lot, so you’re getting all the lows of a relationship and none of the highs. What’s the point? You deserve so much more! If this guy was fighting for you, he’d be your BF, but you guys are just fighting. It’s toxic, even though you think you’re fighting for the man you love. Honestly, it’s going to get you nowhere because you’re the only one who had a destination for you both in mind. He’s on his own journey.

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