Is He Keeping You A Secret? 10 Signs No One Knows About You

Have you ever dated someone that just gave you a strange vibe? Sometimes things can seem really good but there’s a level of mystery that makes you think he’s hiding something. Let’s just hope he’s not hiding you.

  1. Your dates are at random times. He claims he loves early dinner but really he knows that the later he’s out, the easier he’ll be spotted. Sometimes the dates are also somewhat quick. Fast food is a big one but coffee is even more of a dead giveaway—reason being, he could always say he was just grabbing some caffeine with a coworker after an especially pressing day.
  2. You haven’t met his family yet. And if you have, it’s been that one strange cousin. If he says his family aren’t close or don’t do anything for the holidays, it’s kind of a red flag. Even if he’s on the worst terms with his folks, they probably at least want to see him on occasion.
  3. You’re not Facebook official. Even if he’s not always on Facebook, it’s still important to be Facebook official with your boyfriend. That’s the easiest way for him to announce to the world that he’s no longer available and almost like a badge of honor so that you know you’re both on the same page. It may say he’s “in a relationship,” but if he gets a little uneasy when you ask him to link profiles, you have reason to worry.
  4. He’s not willing to jump in your selfies even if you beg. Don’t be the girl who needs to have a zillion photos of her boyfriend to post online for likes. Also, don’t be the girl who has zero photos with her boyfriend based on his refusal. Maybe he’s feeling a little self-conscious or maybe he’s just not a natural with photos—that’s OK. However, he should be willing to step out of his comfort zone to take at least one photo with you if you’re out and about. If not, it’s possible he just doesn’t want any proof out there that you actually exist.
  5. It takes time to get back to you regarding plans. After texting him about seeing a movie this weekend, it literally takes a day for him to give you a yes or no answer. That could mean a lot of things. For one, he could be checking the schedule of another girlfriend to see if he could make it work. Or two, he’s really not that into you and wants to make sure he exhausts all other options first.
  6. He claims he has no friends. He does—everyone does. Even if they’re online buddies, they still exist. Still, it’s clear that he’d prefer you not to know since the fewer people who know about you, the better.
  7. He’s fuzzy with details about his job. He told you the field he’s involved with but not much about the day-to-day. He’s also been a little quiet about where his office is located. You have a general idea, but if you had to send a package to him at the office, it’d require a little bit of guesswork.
  8. You’ve seen pictures of him with other women before but he claims they’re “no one.” Whether it’s a quick look at his Instagram or even framed photos in his house. It’s obvious he’s been in other relationships before and he’s obviously still not over them. Or maybe he’s still in them and is just too lazy to hide the proof.
  9. His dates really aren’t very innovative. Not every date needs to be a well-thought-out winner. Sometimes, you will put the television on and call it a “date.” But his just always lack a sense of pizzaz. It’s ordering subs in or going to the same bland chain restaurant time and time again. It’s because, in his mind, this arrangement is just temporary. Why put in the effort?
  10. He often has trouble accounting for his time. You shouldn’t need to track your guy all the time (since that’s straight up creepy) but if it’s common for hours to go by where he’s not checking in, something is definitely suspicious. It’d make a lot of sense if he had an entire secondary life without you in it. It seems extreme, but it does happen and it’s something you’ll want to protect yourself from.
Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Speech Communication with a focus in Broadcasting and Print Media Studies from Millersville University of Pennsylvania. Since graduating, she has written for sites like LittleThings, HelloGiggles, and Scary Mommy and is currently an e-commerce editor at Bustle.

When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz or on Instagram @karenbelz.