It doesn’t matter if you met him yesterday or you’ve been involved for some time—it’s easy to get played. That’s why it’s so important to pay attention to the signs. After all, the little things a guy does (or doesn’t do) will tell you pretty clearly whether or not he’s only interested in sleeping with you.
He’s a little too social. Does he party a little more than he should? That’s not a good sign. If he wanted more than a hookup, he’d be with you every night, not out drinking with his buddies until 2 a.m. on weeknights.
He doesn’t think very highly of you. The girl he wants to be with is smart, fun, and considerate. The girl he wants to hook up with? She only needs a cute face and zero STDs. The point is, his standards for hookups are low, which is why he never discusses his standards with you or tells you if you meet them. He’s not looking at you like that.
He’s way older or way younger than you. I hate to paint with such a broad brush but age is important. If you’re 24 and he’s 35 (or older), he’s looking for a young hookup. If you’re 26 and he’s 20 (or younger), he’s looking for an old hookup. Opinionated facts.
He always asks what you’re up to. “What are you doing?” is a shady message. It means he doesn’t care if you’re free or not because he’s going out either way. If he wanted to see you, his message would read, “Would you like to hang out tonight?” He’s fine if you tag along but not all that bothered if you don’t.
He doesn’t want kids until he’s basically too old to enjoy them. If he straight up told you he doesn’t want to get married until he’s 40 and he doesn’t want children until he’s 50, he’s not interested in a long-term relationship. He’s terrified of getting older and having adult responsibilities. There’s no way he wants (or could even handle) more than a hookup right now.
Your opinions don’t really matter. He doesn’t ask your opinion about anything—and yes, I’m talking about in the bedroom. He doesn’t care what your favorite position is or if you’d prefer to have the lights on. He does what he wants whenever he wants without any consideration for you or your feelings.
You only hear from him late at night. RED FLAG! Does he only text you after midnight? That means he’s only thinking about you after midnight, which means you’re nothing more than a hookup to him.
He tells his friends a little too much. Does he tell his friends he can’t wait to date you or does he tell his friends he can’t wait to get you into bed? If he only talks about your sex life, that’s all he cares about. Listen to what he says about you in public—that’ll tell you everything.
None of his previous relationships have worked out. He’s been single for how long? If it’s been over two years, he’s the problem. He’s either afraid of commitment, rejection, or both. He’s not going to change his ways, no matter how awesome you are.
His texts always have a naughty purpose. It’s not to invite you out. He wants you to meet him back at his place for sex. It might not seem like a booty call because it’s not last minute but believe me, it’s a booty call.
He doesn’t know much about you. You spend a lot of time with each other, but does he actually know you? Has he asked questions and have you opened up to him? If he wanted more, he’d pull you out of your comfort zone. He’d ask about your interests and you’d feel way more comfortable with him.
You have the most fun when you’re in bed. Spending time with him outside of the bedroom is cold and uneventful. The only time you feel connected to him is when you two are naked together. That’s not a very good sign, is it?
PDA is very uncomfortable. Odds are, you two don’t often participate PDA but when you do, it’s awkward as hell. Something about it feels very unnatural and forced. That’s a sign you’re not emotionally connected. It’s a physical relationship. Holding hands while walking down the street? No thanks.
He ignores you in public. What does he do when he sees you in public? If he ignores you like the plague, he’s only interested in hooking up. A guy who likes you is going to immediately say hi or at least throw a wave your way.
None of his stuff is at your place. Your jacket, your purse, your shoes, your underwear? He won’t let you forget anything at his place. What does that mean? He doesn’t want there to be any trace of you once you leave his home. Not a good sign.
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