It’s hard to not like the attention you get from a guy who’s head over heels for you. He tells you you’re perfect and he’s so lucky to have you and plenty of other things every girl wants to hear from a guy she likes. But there’s a line between a guy who likes you for you and a guy who just likes the idea of you. It might not seem like a bad thing at first, but you could run into some problems if the guy you’re dating is always putting you on a pedestal — here’s why:
- No one is perfect. If he thinks you can do no wrong, that’s great — but it’s not sustainable, because no one is perfect 100% of the time. Eventually he’s going to realize that and he’ll either have to accept you how you are, flaws and all, or move on to someone else who will probably disappoint him too.
- It’s too much pressure. If you know he has you up on a pedestal, you’re going to be even more aware of anything that might spoil his perfect image of you. If you don’t feel like you can be yourself around him, then what’s the point?
- He’ll have expectations you can’t possibly meet. He might mean well and be totally genuine when he tells you how perfect you are, but he probably doesn’t realize he’s building up his expectations and possibly making you feel kind of uncomfortable in the process. There could end up being a disconnect between what he expects and what you’re actually capable of.
- He’s in denial about your flaws. If he’s convinced you’re the perfect girl, then he’s going to have a hard time recognizing your flaws. If you’re lucky, it will be in that aren’t her quirks adorable kind of way rather than the refusal to admit there is anything wrong with you whatsoever way. If he’s in deniable about your shortcomings, he probably won’t be the most realistic about his own either.
- You’re only human. Humans have flaws and they make mistakes, it’s just a fact. Even if you make all the right choices, there are still circumstances beyond your control that you never could have predicted. If a guy has you on a pedestal, he’s probably forgotten that you are capable of failing, just like anyone else.
- He won’t see when things aren’t working. Since he thinks you’re perfect, he’s not going to be too eager to admit when your relationship is going through a rough patch. By his logic, everything that goes wrong in your relationship is his fault, because it couldn’t possibly be anything you did.
- You’ll be afraid to let him down. He obviously sees the best in you, which is, of course, a good thing. But if the thought of disappointing him scares you so much that you would do anything to make sure that doesn’t happen, it might be a little extreme. You have to be able to make mistakes and still be confident that he’ll be there for you and love you anyway, because someone who supports you unconditionally is something everyone needs in their life.
- You’ll feel like he doesn’t really know you. If he refuses to acknowledge your flaws, he’s choosing to ignore an entire piece of who you are. You deserve to have the freedom and support to be yourself, and if he would rather pretend your shortcomings don’t exist then he’s sending the message that who you really are isn’t actually good enough.
