Is He A Total Flake? 10 Signs You’ll Never Be Able To Rely On Him

In every single woman’s journey, there’s a certain guy that pops up from time and time, and that’s the flake. He seems fine at first — after all, you don’t want to date a stuck-up person who has zero fun. However, you soon realize that he’s basically the worst and you want nothing to do with him. Here are 10 signs that he’s a major flake and all he’ll do is waste your time.

  1. Dates are never solid. When you suggest to a flaky guy that you grab dinner on Friday night, he’s not going to respond in a super positive way. But he’s not going to shut you down, either. He’s going to act like, sure, that sounds good but he’ll have to let you know later on. The flaky guy will never make a solid plan to save his life. He always acts like he has so much going on, he can hardly stand it.
  2. He reschedules more than he keeps plans. It’s not nuts for you to expect a guy to actually go out with you when he says he will. If the guy you’re seeing reschedules a lot, you already know that’s not cool. How are you supposed to date someone if they never make time for you? Short answer: you can’t and you shouldn’t.
  3. He always seems stressed out. It’s impossible to expect someone to feel zero stress because let’s face it, life is stressful the majority of the time. But when you date a guy who always seems stressed out and worried about something, that’s a sign that he’s not handling his life very well. And it’s a huge red flag.
  4. He has convincing excuses. Flakes are pretty good at coming up with reasons why they can’t see you, and you’re going to believe him every time. Work was nuts and he needs a night off. He wants to get healthy and this is the only time he goes to the gym. His brother’s visiting from far away. Eventually, you’ll realize that just because someone has somewhat legit excuses doesn’t mean you have to accept them. You need a guy who makes plans. Period.
  5. He doesn’t care about anything. At first, the flaky guy is really attractive because he’s a far cry from the uptight business-oriented guys you’ve dated before. Then you realize that the fact that he doesn’t have a care in the world is a pretty bad thing. You want someone who cares about life and what he’s doing here, and this guy just doesn’t.
  6. He chooses everything over you. You might not realize that your new guy has flaky tendencies, but as soon as he starts making everything else a priority over you, you’ll see the light. And you’re going to be pretty pissed off.
  7. He emotionally manipulates you. Sure, you think this guy is totally harmless because that’s how this kind of person appears when you first meet him. Then he starts emotionally manipulating you and getting under your skin. Don’t you want him to rest and relax? Don’t you want him to deal with his stress levels? Don’t you think he should spend time with his family? Yeah, you agree with all those things… but you don’t think he needs to do them instead of hanging out with you.
  8. He makes you anxious. Unfortunately, his anxious personality is going to make you anxious, too. No one should make you so involved in how they’re thinking and feeling that you take on their stress and negative emotions. You don’t need that and it’s not fair.
  9. He never commits. This kind of guy never really commits to anything in his life, and that’s super attractive. He’s probably got a lot of things going on but isn’t putting 100 percent of himself into any of them. The truth is that if a guy can barely commit to keeping a drinks date, he’s not going to commit to you, period.
  10. He’s got grand ideas. He’s going to start his own company someday. He’s going to travel the world. You’re going to be invited to his next party. Nope, none of those things are happening, because flaky guys only live in the moment. By the time tomorrow comes around, they’re already onto the next thing because they’ve already lost interest. Don’t let someone lose interest in you. The guy who is the total and complete opposite of flaky? He’s definitely worth waiting for.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.