Is Your Ex Into Someone New Or Just Trying To Make You Jealous? Here’s How You Know

Even after moving on from a breakup, it can still be a shock (and maybe even sting a little) when you find out that your ex is in a new relationship. This especially happens when they jump into something super quickly or are now dating someone that isn’t their usual type. Look for these indicators if you’re wondering whether your ex’s new relationship is real or if he’s just trying to make you jealous.

  1. Your ex-partner is constantly posting about their new relationship on social media. Whenever people feel the need to over-post about their relationship online, it always comes off as kind of fake and like they’re trying to prove their relationship is real to the world. It could be that they’re trying to get a reaction from you and if you haven’t given them one yet, they’ll continue to post about their new relationship to the point of overkill trying to get your attention. If you have noticed your ex’s new relationship posts and mentioned it to them (even with good intentions), then they know that their tactic is at least kind of working and they’ll likely keep it up.
  2. It’s out of character for them to share their personal life online. Not only are they constantly posting about their new relationship online, but they’ve never been the type to post a lot about their life on social media. They’ve never been the type to brag about anything on their profiles, but now they suddenly feel the need to let everyone know how happy they are in their new relationship. It sounds like they have an ulterior motive. Your ex is absolutely trying to make you jealous.
  3. They bring their new partner to bars or restaurants that they know are your favorite spots. Running into your ex and their new partner could be an innocent (and possibly awkward) coincidence, but if it’s a recurrent thing, that’s a sign it’s not just an accident. This is especially true if you seem to always run into them at places your ex knows that you love and often go to, like your favorite bar, your favorite Mexican restaurant, or your usual dog park. If it feels like it’s more calculated than a random run-in, it probably is.
  4. Your ex makes it a point to tell you just how happy they are. Whether it’s through text or direct message or in person, they’re always mentioning how happy they are and how great their new relationship is during any contact you have. People who are genuinely happy usually don’t find it necessary to talk about how happy they are because it’s not something they’re trying to prove.
  5. They ask your friends about youYour ex asking your friends how you’re doing and wondering what you’re up to is a sign that they still care and want to know whether you’re happy or dating someone new. They also might be checking in with your friends to see if their new relationship is something you’ve noticed and whether or not it’s bothering you.
  6. They like your posts on social media and/or reply to public posts. An example is you posted an Instagram story about your new kitten and they reply to your story saying how cute it is. They’re not publicly commenting on your posts for others to see it, but they are making it known that they’re looking at your social media and initiating conversation. The same goes for liking a picture of your new car or of you and your nephews. It could be seen as something innocent and friendly but is likely to be a way of casually talking to you and getting your attention.
  7. Your ex does something or goes somewhere with their new partner that they know you love. For example, your favorite music genre is country and your ex never really was a huge fan of it, but they post a picture with their new partner in cowboy hats at a country concert. Or, they casually mention to you (or one of your friends) that they’re going away for the weekend and it happens to be to your favorite weekend getaway destination. You’ve always loved wine and your partner never really was a fan of it, but recently posted online that they went to a wine tasting with their new partner. Their thought process behind doing this is that they’re more likely to make you jealous and get a reaction from you if they make it obvious they’re rubbing some salt into the wound.
  8. Their new partner followed you on social media or has made it clear that they want your ex to have nothing to do with you. If you’re seeing indicating signs that your ex is just trying to make you jealous, his new partner probably sees even more. Starting to follow you on Instagram or Twitter is probably because there’s a reason that they want to keep tabs on you. Messaging you outright or asking your ex to block you or avoid contact with you is a sign that their new partner has seen the cracks in their relationship and is wondering whether or not your ex is actually over you because it seems like they’re not.
Kerry is a freelance writer from Boston, Massachusetts who now lives in the Sunshine State with the love of her life and her 15 month old daughter. She writes frequently about her personal experiences (find more of her work on She has an Etsy shop with cute items: she's not writing, she loves to spend time outside, at the beach, and with her family.