It’s Not In Your Head — Dating Really Is A Sh*tshow And It’s Getting Worse

If you’ve had more terrible dating experiences than good ones, you might start to wonder if you’re the problem. Everyone insists that good guys are out there and there are people looking for relationships just like you, so then how are you having such bad luck? The truth is that many single women are in the same boat — in fact, most of them are. The dating scene really is a total disaster and it’s only getting worse. Depressing but true.

  1. Ghosting is still way too common. This is one of the biggest reasons dating feels like such a disaster all the time. Even when you start talking to someone who seems great and you have excellent chemistry, that’s no guarantee that he’s going to stick around. You can never get too comfortable because the second you do, he’ll up and ghost you without explanation and that’s the end of that. The lack of common decency in dating is beyond a joke and while I wish I could say I’m sure things will get better, I think it’s going in the opposite direction.
  2. Too many options = no one wants to commit. Because there are literally hundreds of millions of people on dating apps, there’s no shortage of options. In theory, that’s a good thing because it makes it way more likely that you’ll come across someone you really connect with and could potentially see yourself in a real relationship with. In reality, it’s made dating a disaster because people see the options as a reason not to commit or settle down since there might always be something “better” out there.
  3. People lie so easily on dating apps. It’s so easy to say whatever you want on dating apps even if there’s zero semblance of truth behind it. One of the things that has turned the dating scene into a disaster zone is the advent of dating apps. It’s not like people couldn’t lie previously, but with online profiles, it’s just way too easy. After all, how are you to know when you match with someone that everything in their bio isn’t just completely made up? How do you even know that you’re talking to the person who’s in the picture? You can (and should) do your research via Google on people, but if guys are lying even about their names, it becomes even harder…
  4. Bad sex is pretty much the norm (for women, anyway). Don’t even lie, you know this is true. Of all the sex you’ve had in your life, how much of it was very enjoyable? How often did you actually get off? How many times did you wish you hadn’t bothered and considered going into a nunnery? Men are very adamant about their entitlement to pleasure but most of them couldn’t care less if we’re even awake while they pound away into us, let alone if we enjoy what’s going on. We accept bad sex because we think it’s just the norm and sometimes it’s better than having none at all. However, we’re literally better off being celibate for life than being some hole for a guy to stick it in. Enough is enough!
  5. Incels seem to be lurking around every corner. This has become more of a problem lately and is actually terrifying to think about. Ghosters and liars are preferable in comparison to incels, who are so angry at women for not fawning all over them that you have to worry that they might stage some kind of mass murder event out of revenge. Their hatred of women is often very thinly veiled, but when you reject them/say you’re not interested in dating them, they will do everything they can to destroy you and turn your life (even if only your online life) into a living disaster.
  6. Women are expected to be the total package while men offer the bare minimum. So let’s get this straight. Women should have tiny waists, huge boobs and a massive butt, a conventionally beautiful face, perfect long hair, wear tons of makeup but not too much, be smart but not too smart, funny but not funnier than them, and be willing to do every disgusting sex act they can conjure up in their minds without complaining. In return, we get… um… to say we’re dating someone? Maybe a half-hearted “u up?” text at 2 a.m. after they’ve been out drinking with their boys?
  7. It’s getting tempting to give up and be single forever. At this point, dating is such a disaster that many women are questioning whether it’s worth it at all. Why should we keep putting ourselves through this torture, chasing some elusive happy ending that seems more and more like it doesn’t even exist? It’s becoming increasingly hard to keep the faith and maybe that’s a good thing. Something’s gotta give, don’t you think?
Scarlett is somewhat new to the writing world, having only graduated in May 2022 with a degree in journalism. She was the associate editor of her university's newspaper and hopes to expand into the publishing world with her articles on love and relationships.