It’s Time To Give Up Searching For The “Perfect Guy,” Because He Doesn’t Exist

I have some bad news for you: the “perfect guy” doesn’t actually exist. I know, I know – go ahead and take a minute to get over your shock. After all, we’re always told to hold out for our “perfect” match, but that’s not so much about the guy being perfect, it’s about him being perfect match for you. And yes, there’s a difference.

It’s easy to get carried away always trying to find a man who’s perfect in every way. You want to make sure he looks great, has a good job, loves the same things you do and meets all the other criteria on your imaginary list. You’re just holding yourself back. Love is out there, but only if you give up on the whole idea of perfection.

  1. Every guy has flaws. Maybe he’s an inch shorter than your dream guy or he leaves dirty bowls in the sink. You’ll never meet a single guy who doesn’t have a whole list of flaws. You might not notice them at first, but they’re there. It’s okay. As long as those flaws aren’t major deal breakers (like maybe he has to check with his mom before going out with you), give him a chance. You might even learn to like his flaws.
  2. You’re not perfect, either. Even if you’re a perfectionist, you’re still not perfect. It’s what makes you unique. If everyone was perfect, life would be immensely boring. So, if you’re not perfect, why should any guy you date be perfect? It’s not really fair. Expect the right guy to be just as flawed as you are.
  3. Guys change over time. At first, he might truly seem perfect. It’s an illusion, so don’t be fooled. Guys change over time. Maybe perfection to you means having a well-defined six pack, dark hair, and blue eyes. Flash forward 10 years and he’s got a beer gut, graying hair and he might have even shrunk by an inch. See, perfect doesn’t last.
  4. The perfect guy only exists in your mind. Of course we all have a dream guy. We probably also dream of lying on a beach somewhere all day, doing nothing with money magically pouring in from a job we never have to go to. Sadly, that’s not going to happen and neither is your dream guy. It’s great to have an idea of what you do and don’t want, but don’t let your mental image blind you from finding the right guy.
  5. Differences are a good thing. Do you really want a guy who’s exactly like you and does everything you do? Not really. You want to have your own life too. Besides, relationships are supposed to help you grow as a person. If he’s perfect and completely identical to you, you won’t grow or learn anything. All those flaws you see are actually a good thing.
  6. Dreams just keep you lonely. You tell everyone you’re holding out for perfection, but your dreams only keep you so warm at night. You could keep dreaming of Mr. Perfect, but he’s just a dream. Would you rather discover that flaws are sexier than your dream guy or would you rather stay lonely?
  7. The right guy is imperfectly perfect. Remember how I said you’re looking for someone that’s perfect for you? The right guy is human, but you think he’s 100 percent compatible with you. You love his flaws and you eventually learn to see him as the ideal guy, after all. If you stayed focused on the unattainable from the start, you would’ve never noticed that imperfection can be perfect in its own way.
  8. Sex appeal only goes so far. Many of the traits women look for in the perfect guy are physical, and that makes sense. You obviously want a man you’re physically attracted to. But what happens when the sexiest guy in the room is the biggest player? The perfect look doesn’t mean he’s good on the inside. Wouldn’t you rather have a few physical flaws and be treated like a queen than date a Greek god who pushes you to the side?
  9. You’re letting love pass you by. While you’re busy obsessing over some guy you think is a god among men, you’re letting real love pass you by. The hunt for perfection is a futile one. Those slightly imperfect guys you keep pushing away could have made you the happiest woman alive. But you’ll never know. You have to give imperfection a chance to ever fall in love.
  10. This isn’t a movie, it’s real life. Romantic movies are wonderful yet evil things. They make love seem easy and idealized and it’s what women look for in their own lives. Movies aren’t real. You’re not going to find the perfect guy, have a fight and get back together in 90 minutes. Guys are flawed, love isn’t easy and you’ll definitely need patience. Enjoy your movies and then get back to the real world.
  11. Perfection doesn’t equal love. Congratulations if you think you’ve found the perfect guy that has no flaws. That’s great! But does he love you? There’s a major flaw. Even if you find a guy that seems perfect, there’s no guarantee he’s going to love or even like you. That perfection you’re seeing could be his own narcissism. The right guy makes mistakes and has his own shortcomings, but he does love you with all his heart and soul.
Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.