You may remember Jumbo Pierre the Willy Pillow appearing on this site before, and if you don’t, here’s a reminder: it’s a giant dong-shaped pillow that’s soft and cuddly and will totally be your new boyfriend if you’ve been striking out in the dating world. The product, which is offered by Firebox, was great in every way but one: it was only available in one “skin tone”… until now!
There are two new Jumbo Pierre shades available now. Firebox wanted to ensure all of its customers could enjoy their cuddly pillows, but that was hard (pun totally intended) given that not all dudes have white penises. To meet customer demand, they decided to release two new shades in hopes of representing more diverse, erm, packages.
Like the original, this is one big willy. Jumbo Pierre is the perfect cuddle partner because he doesn’t complain that his arm is falling asleep because he doesn’t have any or annoy you by talking through The Bachelor. Instead, he just lays there and lets you snuggle all four glorious feet of him without all the backchat. Yep, that’s right—this willy pillow if four feet long!
If you don’t have a date for Valentine’s Day this year, now you do. Pierre will keep you company on February 14 and beyond and will likely be the best boyfriend you’ve ever had. For the woman who loves penises and being comfortable in bed, this is basically your dream product, right. And for only about £40, I’d say it’s a total bargain.
The only thing that would make this better is if it vibrated. I mean, I don’t think I need to outline why a vibrating giant willy would be a good thing to have, but I also don’t think that Firebox will ever go down that route, largely because you’d need a pretty big motor and a whole lot of batteries to get that thing going. But if they’re looking for some product suggestions, I’m just sayin’…
The black and brown Jumbo Pierre pillows are available for pre-order now. The white ones are currently in-stock, with stock anticipated for the black and brown versions in the next couple of days. If you’d like to order one for yourself or anyone else you know who loves d…, well, you know, you can do so on the Firebox website HERE.
Sponsored: The best dating/relationships advice on the web. Check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You immediately connect with an awesome coach on text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here…
- 12 Reasons You’re Single Even Though You’re A Catch
- You Know You’re In An Almost Relationship If You’re Sending Him These Texts
- 14 Little Things That Look Like Love But Are Actually Manipulation
- 17 Life Struggles Of Women Who Are Naturally Loud
- “Duty Dating” Is A Thing And You Need To Start Doing It ASAP
- They Might Not Seem Like It, But These 12 Things Are Emotional Abuse
- I Didn’t Understand Why I Kept Ending Up With Toxic Guys Until I Realized These Important Things
- What’s Your Hottest Quality? Here’s What Your Zodiac Sign Suggests
Share this article now!