Just Because He Doesn’t Love You Doesn’t Mean You’re Unlovable

Just Because He Doesn’t Love You Doesn’t Mean You’re Unlovable ©iStock/filadendron

Feeling like crap because some guy you’ve been pining for doesn’t return the sentiment? It happens to everyone, and it’s not the end of the world. There will be others, and not winning the affections of one particular guy has nothing to do with your worth. You’re perfectly capable of finding soul-smashing, beautiful, awesome love.

  1. It’s not personal. You can’t help who you love, it’s true. Sometimes you know a girl or guy is awesome and you really wish you felt differently, but you just can’t. Don’t take it as some omen that you are intrinsically undateable just because it doesn’t work out every time.
  2. You can’t make him feel a certain way. These things cannot be forced. You wouldn’t want that anyway, hopefully. No matter how you try to impress him or change his mind, he probably won’t, and that’s okay. It’s only because there’s someone more suited to you waiting around the corner.
  3. He’s probably not as great as you think. You might be falling into the trap of liking the idea of him, not the actual person. When you get to know him, he’s going to have issues and flaws just like anyone else. Stop using this unrealistic impression you have of him to make yourself miserable. This supposedly “perfect” guy who doesn’t like you back might be a total loser. You don’t really know.
  4. The heart is unmanageable. Oh, you crappy, unruly, chaotic heart, you! Why do you make everything so difficult? Give yourself a break. Just like he can’t help it that he doesn’t like you, you can’t help that you do like him. It sucks, but you have to let it go, accept it, and move on. Look at the reasons you’re attracted to him and keep that in mind when you’re out looking for your real match.
  5. You deserve something better. Not that he’s not great or whatever, but he’s not great for you. The right guy will return your feelings equally. When it’s right, you’ll just know it. This, sadly, obviously isn’t, so it’s okay that things aren’t working out.
  6. You have to love yourself the most – enough to move forward. You are awesome. Know this! You’re awesome, and one guy failing to notice that does not change it. You can push and shove and make a fool of yourself over him…or you can have the self-confidence and self-esteem to walk away.
  7. Never let anyone strip you of your dignity. So he lets you down nicely – or meanly. The worst thing you can do is keep hanging on, looking a fool while everyone secretly pities you. Don’t be that girl. You’ll just look sad, and lonely, and delusional. You are not those things! You are a strong, independent, beautifully complex woman who is worthy of love. Don’t grovel for crumbs when you can have the whole cake for free elsewhere.
  8. He’s not the right one for you. Bottom line. If he were, this wouldn’t be a struggle. It just wouldn’t. Maybe you’ve seen too many movies. When it’s right, it’s so easy you’ll feel crazy for having fought so hard in the past. Let the crappy match go to make way in your life for the wonderful one! Don’t stay so wrapped up in a losing situation that you fail to see the better options out there.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.