Just Because You’re Not Enough For Him Doesn’t Mean You’re Not Enough

Just Because You’re Not Enough For Him Doesn’t Mean You’re Not Enough ©iStock/Georgijevic

But the cruelest thing someone can say when breaking up with you by far is, “You’re just not enough for me.” Maybe you’ve heard it put that explicitly, or maybe you got the message in subtler terms. No matter what, don’t believe it. The problem is never that you’re not “enough” for someone else.

  1. “Enough” is a concept, not a rule. And it’s kind of a crappy concept to begin with. You can never fulfill someone else completely — that’s just impossible. If a guy expects a woman to fill in all his missing pieces, he’s going to be waiting a long, long while. There’s no one on earth who will ever be a perfect match, and as for “good enough,” well, that’s going to change depending on who you ask. You can’t let one guy’s opinion of your enough-ness be the one you believe.
  2. Different people have different priorities. Maybe his priorities were different than yours. Maybe he just wanted someone more casual, something more serious or someone shorter or taller or richer or poorer. You can’t know and it doesn’t matter anyway. His priorities didn’t include you. That doesn’t mean you weren’t good enough for him.
  3. You may have dodged a bullet. Even if he didn’t outright say the words to you, any guy who makes you feel like you’re not enough for him isn’t worth your wasted breath. You deserve to be with someone who values the chance they have to be around you. You don’t want to be worshipped, because you’re a person, not a totem pole. But you should be, and deserve to be, adored.
  4. Your value isn’t solely confined to relationships. The things that make up what you’re worth can’t be contained just in a romantic relationship. Those factors come from all different sources, and while it may sting to feel not valued by a boyfriend, just remember that you’re valued by all sorts of people, in all sorts of different ways.
  5. You may not have been his cup of tea, but you’re probably someone else’s. In fact, I can almost guarantee you are. For every person who rejects you, there’s another who would die to be with you. Every puzzle piece has its match, and you’ve got one (or a few!) out there waiting for you. Don’t doubt it.
  6. Your worth is immeasurable. Seriously, nothing makes me madder than seeing a girl become convinced that she’s worthless. This world can be a nasty place, and there are all sorts of forces already trying to make you believe you’re not worth much at all. Don’t let a man add to that number. Your worth as a human is intrinsic and immeasurable. Try to hold tight to that fact.
  7. The only person who gets to decide if you’re good enough is you. Seriously! It may be hard to feel like you’re always failing to measure up to someone else’s standards, but the truth is, their standards don’t matter. You get to set your own standards of worth. If you don’t feel like you’re at your best, you can definitely put yourself on a path towards changing that! But don’t feel that you have to take some douchebag’s word as gospel truth. Even I know you’re worth far more than that.
Becca Rose is a writer with high hopes for her student loan debt. She's a musician and aspiring novelist, but don't ask her to write poetry, because she's terrible at it. She has written for HelloGiggles, The Toast, The Huffington Post, and more. You can find her on Twitter @bookbeaut