What To Know Before Moving In With Your Boyfriend, According To A Guy

On behalf of most of the men in the world, let me just say that we know living with us isn’t easy. If you think you’re ready to move in with your boyfriend, it may not be exactly what you expect it to be. Here are a few things you should know before you sign that lease.

  1. You need to find a quiet corner where you can be alone. Living together means spending a lot more time together, but it also means a lot more opportunities to get on each other’s nerves. It’s best if both of you pick out a part of the house where you can go for some alone time. It could be a spare bedroom, the laundry room, or merely taking a seat on the stairs. Wherever it is, have a quiet corner where you can get space from your boyfriend. He’ll have one too, so make sure you don’t disturb him there.
  2. We’re either super clean or super dirty. Yes, a lot of men live in squalor if no one’s around to clean up after them. Of course, there are also a few who are obsessed with everything being clean. Both types of guys can be unbelievably annoying. It’s also possible you don’t know what type your boyfriend is before you live with him. Odds are, he’s the exact opposite of you with regard to caring about how clean everything is, so get ready to clash on that front.
  3. Get ready to see a different side of us. How a guy acts when you’re dating is going to be different from how he acts when you move in with him. At home, most of us tend to be a lot more relaxed, care-free, and self-centered. Once you move in together, we guys are a little less worried about hiding the daily rituals and parts of our personalities we were afraid to show you earlier. Rest assured, you’ll see a different side to your boyfriend when you move in with him—and it isn’t always pretty.
  4. The TV shows you like are stupid. Do you think that living together means cuddling up every night and watching your favorite show? Guess again because you’ll soon discover that your boyfriend hates all the shows you like. He may put up with them for a little while as a courtesy. Soon enough, he’ll find something else to do rather than sitting through another mindless episode of Real Housewives or Teen Mom.
  5. The bathroom can be an unpleasant place to be. This one shouldn’t be that surprising but it still needs to be said. Even if you’re living with a guy who actually cares about keeping the bathroom clean, it’ll still be too small for two people and filled with weird smells. You may also discover that your boyfriend has some weird hygiene habits you didn’t know about before.
  6. You will get mad. Odds are, moving in together isn’t going to lead to a second honeymoon phase in your relationship. Instead, it may be the opposite. There will be things that make you angry for one reason or another, but the key is only getting mad over important things. Squabbling over minor offenses or inconveniences you discover upon living together will make both of you doubt whether it was the right decision.
  7. Have a plan for handling money. Every couple’s financial situation is different, but you need to have a plan in place for dealing with money beforehand. If you think that splitting everything 50/50 will work, guess again. One of you will want to splurge and buy expensive things while the other one will want to do all of their shopping at the value-mart. If you don’t discuss how you plan to handle money before you live together, there’s bound to be trouble.
  8. Get ready to get sick. Keep in mind that living with people makes it easy to spread germs back and forth. If you have roommates who each have their own room, it’s a little easier to avoid the person who’s sick. When you share a bed with someone every night, there’s no escaping their germs. There have also been studies that have shown men’s homes have more germs than a woman’s home. Seriously, it’s a real thing. Hopefully, your immune system is ready to move into your boyfriend’s place.
  9. Your sex drive may go down. Moving in together doesn’t mean having non-stop sex. In fact, it probably leads to the opposite. When you live together, there is always an opportunity to have sex, so you end up putting it off until later. Eventually, later turns into days and weeks without having sex. Perhaps more importantly, moving in means seeing your boyfriend in some not-so-flattering ways and vice versa. That will make it at least a little harder to see the other person sexually.
  10. You have to remind him to take you out. For almost all men, moving in together is a one-way ticket to relationship complacency. Even if we’re not married, we think the war is over. As a result, we have little interest in going out to dinner or going on fun adventures together—that is unless someone is making us. Once you move in with your boyfriend, you have to keep him on his toes and make sure he keeps taking you out on proper dates. Most guys aren’t going to make it happen on their own. I’m not defending it; that’s just the way we are.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.