Why You Shouldn’t Be Afraid To Say “I Love You” First

Why You Shouldn’t Be Afraid To Say “I Love You” First ©iStock/Shironosov

Telling your boyfriend that you love him for the first time is scary — especially if you’ve never said it before. While you might be hesitant to utter those three little words before he does, you shouldn’t doubt your feelings or worry about his response. If you love him, just tell him — there’s no real reason not to.

  1. It shows a capacity to give. When you’re the first to say those words, you’re giving a part of yourself to him and trusting that he’ll take care of it. And if you’re meant to be, he will. If he doesn’t feel the same yet, he’ll still respond with tenderness and your relationship won’t change because of it. If it does, then at least you’ve found out that he’s not the one for you. Either way, it’s a win-win.
  2. It shows bravery. It’s some scary stuff to admit any feelings to someone, let alone to tell him you love him. To put something like that out there takes some courage and deserves respect. And if you’ve been hurt by love before (and who hasn’t?), it just makes you that much more brave because you’re open to it again despite your past.
  3. You’re telling him that you trust him. Trust is probably the most important thing in any relationship, and putting your heart into his hands shows that you’re confident in him and your feelings for him. Showing vulnerabilities is sometimes thought of as weak, but it’s actually the opposite. By saying those words first, you’re telling that person that you trust that he won’t take advantage of you.
  4. It proves that you know yourself. If you recognize your feelings and are able to vocalize them, you must really know yourself. You know you’re in love — otherwise, you wouldn’t just be throwing it out there first, in the hope that he feels the same. You’re saying those words because you know you feel them. You know yourself well enough to not let fear get in the way, and that’s something to be proud of.
  5. You’re showing him that you believe in love. Admitting love means believing that it exists, and that he could return that feeling. Even if he’s not there quite yet, he might one day get there, and that means something. You know that love is powerful and important, and you want to find it with him. Isn’t that worth the risk?
Kasandra Lynn is a freelance writer and blogger living in a small town. She is an aspiring novelist with a BA in English, has completed 2 novels, writes for multiple non-profit organizations and gets her blog, FairlyChic.com, published in a weekly column for her local newspaper.