Lies Men Tell Themselves (And The Women In Their Lives)

Lies Men Tell Themselves (And The Women In Their Lives)

Whether consciously or not, men sometimes tell little white lies (or major ones!) to navigate tricky emotional territory or avoid uncomfortable truths in life. Maybe they don’t want to have difficult conversations with their partners, or they’re doing their best to ignore personal problems they’ve been dealing with for a long time. Either way, here are some of the biggest deceptions many men are guilty of.

1. “I’m fine.”

A lot of guys feel like they have to act tough and hide their feelings. They might say they’re “doing fine” even when things are really hard because they don’t want to seem weak. However, bottling things up like that makes it tough to really connect with people and get support when you need it. Opening up and being real about what you’re going through isn’t always easy, but it’s important and helps you build stronger relationships in the long run.

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2. “I wasn’t checking her out.”

While Psychology Today notes that it’s totally normal for a guy to notice a good-looking woman walking by. That’s just human nature. But if his partner sees him checking her out, a lot of guys will straight up deny it instead of just admitting it was a brief moment of appreciation. They’re often worried their partner will think they were being disrespectful. But denying it so strongly can actually make their partner more suspicious and upset, not less.

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3. “Work is just crazy right now.”

This is a legitimate excuse sometimes, but also a go-to explanation men use to avoid dealing with issues at home or in their relationship. The stress of work is real, but repeatedly using it as a reason to withdraw emotionally or dismiss a partner’s needs creates a barrier to intimacy.

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4. “I don’t care what you wear.”

When a woman asks her partner what he thinks about her outfit, some guys honestly don’t have a strong take on it either way. But others will just say “you look great in anything!” to play it safe, even if they do have an opinion. Maybe they’re not really paying attention, or maybe they just don’t want to risk saying the wrong thing and starting an argument. But going with that automatic response instead of giving a real answer means missing a chance to share helpful feedback and practice communicating honestly as a couple, even about small stuff.

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5. “I have no idea why she’s upset.”

When a woman is visibly upset about something, a common knee-jerk reaction from guys is to just say “I don’t know” if she asks what’s wrong. In some cases, he genuinely might be oblivious and not picking up on the emotional signals she’s giving off. But in others, “I don’t know” is kind of a cop-out to avoid dealing with the situation. It shuts down her feelings and gets him off the hook for trying to understand what’s bothering her or help make things better. Even if he really doesn’t know, making an effort to find out shows he cares.

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6. “I’m just friends with her.”

Telling your partner that another woman is “just a friend” can be a slippery slope if she senses something more is going on. Even if it’s true, brushing off her concerns makes it seem like you’re hiding something. Being totally upfront about the friendship is key to avoid causing suspicion and distrust. Even if the truth is that you slept with her once in college, don’t beat around the bush unless you want bigger problems down the road.

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7. “I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.”

Whether it’s getting in shape, tackling that broken sink, or finally starting the hobby they’re always talking about — saying you’ll do something and then never following through gets old fast. When partners hear those same empty promises over and over, it’s hard to take his word seriously. All talk and no action destroys trust and breeds resentment.

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8. “Of course I’m listening.”

You know that distant look in their eyes or the way they keep sneaking peeks at their phones are dead giveaways they’re not really listening, even if they’re nodding along. Faking interest when you’re totally checked out is disrespectful. If now’s a bad time to talk, just say so. Better to be upfront about it than to pretend you’re all ears while your mind is a million miles away.

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9. “I just need some space.”


Needing alone time is healthy for everyone, but this phrase is often weaponized when men feel overwhelmed emotionally. Rather than articulating what’s making them pull away a bit, a vague request for “space” leaves their partners feeling confused and potentially responsible for the distance between them.

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10. “I’m not in the mood.”


A rejection of physical intimacy can understandably hurt a partner’s feelings. Sometimes this is genuinely about tiredness or stress, but it can also mask deeper issues men are hesitant to address – worries about performance, changes in desire, or unexpressed emotional needs within the relationship. They all happen from time to time, but they need to be talked about!

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11. “This isn’t a big deal.”

bored couple sitting on couch togetheristock

When a woman is telling her partner that something’s really bugging her, responding with “it’s not a big deal” is like a slap in the face. It’s basically saying her feelings don’t matter and she’s making a mountain out of a molehill. Even if you don’t mean it that way, brushing off her concerns makes her feel unheard and unimportant. It shuts down any chance of actually resolving the issue and just breeds more anger and bitterness. Not a recipe for a healthy relationship.

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12. “I’m always attracted to you.”

Conversation, argument and interracial couple in conflict in a park for communication about divorce. Angry, fight and black man and woman speaking about a relationship problem on a date in nature

Physical attraction naturally fluctuates over the course of a long-term relationship, per Verywell Mind. While consistent desire is the ideal, pretending to find a partner irresistible every day, no matter the circumstances, is unrealistic. Open communication about changes in desire builds a foundation of honesty and allows for deeper intimacy.

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13. “I’m really good at multitasking.”

worried young woman in kitchen with boyfriend

Men often overestimate their ability to split their focus effectively. Claiming to be fully present in a conversation while simultaneously browsing their phone is unlikely to fly. Honesty about their limits builds more trust than pretending to be mentally superhuman.

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14. “I never said that.”

young man and woman chatting on park bench

This is gaslighting at its worst, or a convenient memory lapse at best. Whether it’s forgetting a promise made, denying a hurtful comment, or revising history to avoid accountability, this form of manipulation eats away at trust and fuels insecurity – a serious breach in any relationship.

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15. “I don’t need help.”

man and woman talking on city street

A lot of guys have a hard time admitting when they need a hand. They’ve been told all their lives that they’re supposed to be tough, independent, and able to handle everything on their own. So when their partner offers to help out, whether it’s with fixing the car or working through a tough situation, they brush it off with an “I got this, I’m good.” But constantly refusing support cuts their partner out and makes it seem like they don’t want to work as a team. It can be isolating and exhausting in the long run, trying to shoulder everything solo. There’s no shame in accepting backup sometimes.

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16. “Everything will be fine.”

Sometimes, this is desperately what they want to believe, as much as they’re saying it to reassure their loved ones. However, offering empty promises during difficult times minimizes the reality of the situation and potential struggles. Honesty about uncertainty, while still offering support, builds a stronger sense of facing challenges together.

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Brad grew up in St. Louis and moved to California to attend Berkeley College of Music, where he graduated with a bachelor's degree in Music Production and Engineering. He still plays in a band on the weekend and during the week does a lot of writing and coffee-making to pay the bills. He's also been married for 7 years now, so he figures he must be doing something right.