What It’s Like When You’re Not The Hottest Girl In Your Friend Group

What It’s Like When You’re Not The Hottest Girl In Your Friend Group ©iStock/petrunjela

Hotness isn’t about physical appearance — it’s about attitude: you’re as sexy as you feel so it helps to be confident. That said, we all have our insecure moments and sometimes we can get competitive, focusing on how our friends look and wondering if they’re hotter than us. No one’s hotter than anyone else — like we said, it’s just about attitude — but if you’re someone who feels that way sometimes, you’ve probably felt like this:

  1. Guys talk to you to get to your friends. Guys may be physically attracted to the hottest girl in the room, but they’re also super intimidated by her. So to break the ice they’ll talk to one of the more approachable girls that they think is less likely to reject then. So as long as you’re out with your hot friend, you’re never sure if guys are actually interested in you or just want to get closer to her.
  2. You always get stuck with the wingman. In order to get one on one time with the hot girl, guys know they have to bring someone along to keep her friend company. The wingman probably isn’t interested in you at all, he’s just putting in time because it’s his turn to take one for the team — and no girl likes pity flirting.
  3. Sometimes you feel invisible. Even though there are some nights where you get plenty of attention, there are others where no one seems to even want to acknowledge your presence. Instead, your hotter friends are surrounded by guys, and you’re standing off to the side feeling awkward.
  4. Sometimes you’re thankful to not have to deal with guys constantly hitting on you. As nice as it would be to be as obviously gorgeous as your most gorgeous friend, you’ve seen the BS she has to put up with on a seemingly constant basis. While you may not get hit on every time you go out, you do get hit on, and it’s actually nice to not have to deal with it sometimes.
  5. You can’t use group shots on dating apps. The last thing you want is to be overshadowed by your better looking friends on Tinder. Either guys will stop responding when they find out you’re not the hot blond on the left, or they’ll just straight up ask if your friend is single.
  6. Someone else always looks better in your favorite top. You aren’t going to say no to your could-be-a-Victoria’s-Secret-model friend borrowing the black peplum top you always wear when you want to look your best. But after seeing her in it, you’re pretty sure you’ll just let her keep it because there’s no way you’ll ever look that good in it anyway.
  7. You’re just a little nervous to introduce your new guy to your friends. What if he realizes you’re not actually that attractive and dumps you? Or worse, he tries to hit on one of your friends? You know it’s crazy to think these things and you’d never say them out loud, but that doesn’t mean they don’t cross your mind.
  8. You can be pretty sure that guys like you for more than your looks. If a guy seems genuinely interested in you, it’s not because you’re gorgeous (although, he probably still thinks you are)– it’s because he likes you as a person. You’ve heard your hot friends complain about guys who only care about appearance enough times to know that being average looking can be a blessing in disguise.
  9. You find out even the hottest girl has insecurities. When you look at your hottest friend you don’t see a single flaw, but when she looks at herself, she probably sees plenty of things she would like to change. Just because she’s objectively hot doesn’t mean she feels that way all the time– and there’s probably even something about you that she wishes she had.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.